


YOU MADE MY DAWN

by soonhaee



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:56:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28725468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonhaee/pseuds/soonhaee
Summary: Jihoon was torn between going to China to spend the holidays with his girlfriend or spending it with his best friend, Soonyoung. If he goes with his girlfriend, he would be breaking an old and long tradition that they have established since they were trainees. They have been spending new year together ever since they met, and Jihoon was adamant in breaking it.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 63





	1. CHARACTERS/SUMMARY

**Author's Note:**

> CW : Explicit Content and Language
> 
> Minor appearances of other members.

Jihoon was stuck in a relationship that he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted. A relationship that was forcing him to go to China and spend some time with his girlfriend's parents. The only problem that, to do so, he would have to break a longtime tradition that he has with his best friend, Soonyoung. 

**CHARACTERS: Jihoon / Soonyoung **

CHARACTER: Character is fictional and in no relation to any real person. (I was supposed to use the idol that won on the polls, but changed my mind due to how later scenes were written.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Jihoon's Instagram Post**

**Soonyoung's Instagram Post**

It was an hour before Christmas, but Jihoon was stuck in the studio still in his orange shirt and shorts, his current favorite outfit plus his reliable slip ons. He was supposed to finish all of his tasks the week before, but there were unavoidable circumstances, like the unreasonable demands of his girlfriend (member of their company’s girl group that recently debuted) and some things that the members convinced him to do. Most were nonsensical and he was confused with himself as to why he allowed himself to be pulled away from his task, and now he was the one suffering from the delay.

He wasn’t even supposed to be as busy as he was. His relationship for that matter wasn’t supposed to take as much time as it actually does since Xia was always in China for promotions, but he was and he hated it. He hated it because it took him away from doing what he loved.

Most of Xia’s demands were things that she could have asked another person to do, but she insisted that he does it. Apparently it was his responsibility as a boyfriend to check up on her cats, even if he needn’t have to since he left them in a pet hotel where all their needs will be taken care of. She also asked him to water her plant in their dorm room, one that he successfully got out of since she was living with her group members.

She also insisted on phone conversations every night. Their conversations were mostly nonsensical and centered around what she did that particular day and how her career is slowly taking off. The calls were long and Jihoon found them tedious. There were better things to do with his time than listening to his girlfriend talk on and on about how she wanted a particular rhine-stoned outfit but the stylist gave it to another member, or how her nails didn’t match her outfit for that day, or how Jihoon, being a big shot idol already should mention her as his ideal type on his interviews or how Jihoon should post pictures similar to hers on his instagram. She was hoping that fans would notice the similarities. Things that didn’t really interest him and things that he won’t be persuaded in a million years to do. There was no way he will reveal the relationship to the public, especially since he wasn’t even sure if he liked being in the relationship.

The only thing he looks forward to on these long phone conversations were those times spent when Xia was in one of her moods. One in which he was hesitant at first to take part in, but was eventually convinced to do so since according to Xia it was part of being in a long distance relationship and if they love each other, it’s normal to be needy of each other. Instead of the incessant demands, she’d be her alluring self and actually care about what Jihoon felt or whether he’s enjoying himself or not. It was during those times that she’ll send him a sexy picture and Jihoon knew what she was up to.

Once both of their schedules were over, she’d be too needy to just settle on text messages and phone conversations so she’ll switch to video call. By that time, Jihoon knew what his girlfriend is up to and would make sure that his door to the studio is lock. By the time he answers, Xia is already in bed, hot and waiting. She needed Jihoon to relax and get her off. Jihoon complied by talking dirty to her, instructing her on what to do and what not. She’d position the camera in such a way that all her glory is exposed to Jihoon, who also does the same.

He’d pleasure himself as he watched his girlfriend do the same. But his favorite was watching Xia suck on a popsicle, whispering sweet nothings, eyes following his hand as he stroked himself. It was his favorite because he thought those were the only times that Xia would actually pay attention to his needs. She would focus all of her energy, thoughts, and words into making him cum. It was a good feeling being taken care of. He hoped it would pass on to the other aspects of their relationship, but it never did. After the call, they’ll make promises that they usually can’t keep, like going on a date or setting aside time to actually have sex. But all those were just wishful thinking given their hectic schedule.

He liked her. He was one of the guests judge for their monthly evaluations when she caught his eyes. The company asked him to write a song for them, and so he did. He found her sweet, and for a time he was enamored by the big eyed beauty who was also flirting back.

It was also during a time when he just wanted to experience actually going on a date or even being in a relationship. He never really thought about liking someone or anyone for years, and felt like maybe there was something wrong with him. So, he asked her out. She said yes. He took her to an expensive restaurant, not really his taste, but he wanted to make a good impression. He discarded his favorite sweats and slips ons, and asked Minghao to put together an outfit for him. Which turned out to be a good idea since Xia dressed to impressed. The whole night, he was conscious that somebody would recognize him. Something that Jihoon learned Xia didn’t really care about. He also didn’t know how to act or what to talk about with the girl, so he stayed quiet and listened to her chatter.

A week after their date (the one that Jihoon thought was a disaster) and several text messages and phone calls , Xia announced to her group members while they were in the recording studio, and in front of the managers, that they were officially together. Jihoon tried to recall where in their past conversations did he actually agreed to be his boyfriend, but by the time he remembered that he didn’t, everybody were already congratulating them. Jihoon just kind of went with it, since he didn’t want to humiliate the girl. Besides, maybe he’ll grow to actually like her instead of just the initial physical attraction. He was also hoping that since she was in a newly debuted group, she’ll be too busy to actually have a relationship. He was wrong. She was busy, but she expected Jihoon to be the one to make the adjustments. She expected Jihoon to be at her beck and call, which Jihoon absolutely refused to do, not just because of his busy schedule but because he just didn’t want to.

Jihoon remembered it quite clearly, not just because of Xia’s unexpected announcement but it was one of those days when nothing seemed to be going right.

He remembered Soonyoung giving him a half smile and offering his congratulations before quickly leaving the studio and disappearing the whole day. He remembered it because it was the time that he was supposed to meet Chanyeol for a collaboration meeting, but he completely forgot because he was worried about his missing best friend.

It was also the time when Jihoon almost scoured the whole city looking for Soonyoung who turned out to be in the hospital with a dislocated shoulder after practicing for 10 straight hours in a rented dance studio. He was advised by the doctors to stay for further observations and fell asleep complete forgetting to check his phone. He almost beat up Soonyoung that day for making him worry, but he restrained himself. He never really had the chance to ask Soonyoung why he disappeared.

Six months later and he was stuck in a relationship that he doesn’t even know if he wanted or not. Soonyoung was still having shoulder problems, but knows better than to disappear on him without a word. Six months later and he’s still the same Jihoon, busy, clueless, and totally exhausted.

He was in the middle of saving his work in his computer when his phone rang. It was Xia reminding him of their plans. Plans which he didn’t even take part in making. Plans which he didn’t want to do.

“Look Xia, I’m really busy. I just can’t drop everything and fly to China just because—“ Jihoon tried to explain but he was cut off. He wanted to tell Xia that he wasn’t interested because he has other plans. Plans that he’ll never ruin for anything in this world.

“But that was the plan!” Xia yelled over the phone. Jihoon knew that she was getting frustrated. She usually starts screaming, no screeching when she doesn’t automatically get her way. She was in Korea for a couple of days but they couldn’t meet since she has work.

She asked Jihoon to fly with her home, so he could meet her parents, but he didn’t want to leave. He was busy with work, but most importantly he had a tradition to keep, a promise that he made with a friend when they were just trainees and it was something that he needed to start the year. Definitely not something that he’ll disregard.

“I never agreed to such plans. I told you. I have work and—“

“Go with me or let’s break up.” Xia interrupted him again to his irritation.

It was a familiar line. Something that Xia always used to force Jihoon into doing what she wants. Jihoon, for some reason, allowed it to work on him. It was a decision that he always regretted in the end, and something he always promised himself to remember but always seems to forget.

He let it work because he didn’t like offending anyone, let alone his supposed girlfriend. But he was far from being generous at the moment, and was too tempted to take the challenge.

He was about to answer when Soonyoung, wearing an all black hoodie and sweatpants, came in and crashed on the couch. Soonyoung always saved Jihoon from saying something he’ll regret or from Jihoon’s perspective, doing the right thing. He always had perfect timing in stopping him from saying things that would actually ruin his relationship with Xia.

“Merry Christmaaaaaas!” Soonyoung yelled but immediately covered his mouth when he realized that Jihoon was on the phone.

He moved around until he found his favorite spot on the couch. Something that he usually couldn’t do when Xia was around. He was always relegated to one of the plastic chairs when Jihoon’s girlfriend was around because as such, Xia claims, she has first pick rights over anything that had to do with Jihoon and the couch was for the couple and was too small to accommodate even one of the boyfriend’s closest friend. When Jihoon found out why Soonyoung seemed to have developed a liking for the uncomfortable plastic chair they keep for extra seating, he went ballistic and broke up with her. She ran to Soonyoung crying and yelling that it was all his fault. So, he did what any friend would have done in the situation, he went and talk to Jihoon. Soonyoung told him that if he broke up with her because of him, he’d be guilty for the rest of his life. Soonyoung was so persuasive that Jihoon had no choice but to relent. The plastic chair became Soonyoung’s constant companion. Something that Soonyoung had learned to live with and accept in time. 

_It’s just a couch, Jihoon._ Soonyoung told Jihoon as he tried to persuade the latter to take Xia back. It was just a couch, Soonyoung told himself, but he knew he was lying. It wasn’t just a couch. Xia was marking her territory. Xia was edging him out of the top spot in Jihoon’s life and it was okay, the girlfriend always comes first. But Soonyoung couldn’t help feel a little sad and sometimes jealous. It was normal, he told himself. He no longer had the complete attention of his best friend.

“Is that Soonyoung?” Xia asked when she overheard him. “Give him the phone.”

Xia must have realized that her earlier threat was not working so she switched tactics. Jihoon sigh and gave Soonyoung the phone. It was always something that Xia hated, the fact that Soonyoung had a greater influence over Jihoon’s decision making than her, she she was supposed to be the girlfriend. It was also a thorn on her side that Jihoon can’t seem to say no to his best friend. But she learned to live with it and used it to her advantage. She knew that to get what she wants, she needed to use the ultimate weapon against Jihoon, Soonyoung. Xia knew that with Soonyoung on her side, Jihoon will never dare to say no.

“Soonieeee, please convince Jihoon to fly to China with me tomorrow.” Xia asked in her sweet voice. Soonyoung gave Jihoon a panicked look, who shook his head and glared at him, a warning. Soonyoung knew why Jihoon didn’t want to go, and he felt guilty.

If it weren’t for him, Jihoon would be already on a plane on his way to actually be with the person he loves. He was always in the way, Soonyoung thought, even though he didn’t mean it. He was about to convince Jihoon but the look that Jihoon gave him stopped him.

“Uhm… I don’t think that’s something that I could help you with.” Soonyoung answered truthfully. He was torn between actually helping Xia and Jihoon, and his own selfishness of wanting Jihoon to stay for the week which they actually have time to rest. He was also worried about their little tradition. He was also convinced that for personal affairs, he hardly had any say in Jihoon’s life.

“Oh come on, one word from you and he’ll do it. Pretty please.” Xia asked turning on his full charms. “In return, we’ll bring you back something when we return the day after the new year.”

“Oh? You’re going to stay in China during the—“ Soonyoung asked. Jihoon shook his head eyes wide and in panic.

Soonyoung was surprised that Jihoon was even planning to go to China, confirming his suspicions that it was the year they’ll probably break their longtime tradition. New Year’s were spent with the members, and then both of them will talk till dawn at the rooftop, waiting for the first sunrise of the year. He didn’t realize he was pouting and frowning when Jihoon interrupted.

“No, I’m not.” Jihoon quickly said when he saw Soonyoung’s face. He grabbed the phone from Soonyoung, who was still looking forlorn but realized that he was making things difficult for Jihoon so he schooled his face into something more acceptable. “Look, Xia. Go without me. I told you. I can’t afford to—“

“Oh we’re about to shoot again. I’ll wait for you tomorrow morning at the airport. I left your ticket with your manager. Bye babes! Love you!” Xia quickly said before hanging up.

Jihoon took a deep breath before taking a seat beside his friend who became uncharacteristically quiet and was already taking out heaps of food from a take out bag.

It was always both of them who stays behind in the company, even during their trainee days. They were used to being alone together after a long day of work. Soonyoung was a hard worker, which was what drew Jihoon to the boy. They can spend endless of hours on a song lyrics and then still have enough energy to practice.

They connect in a level that no one else would understand. They were two peas in a pod. His soul buddy as Soonyoung likes to say, since Xia forbade him to call themselves soulmates. The title was for her, she insisted, to Jihoon’s irritation. He doesn’t like it when Xia pushed Soonyoung around, even for the little things.

Jihoon had long realized that, Soonyoung was sort of a soulmate. Someone who totally gets him. Soonyoung was the missing puzzle in his life that perfectly fit the empty space and completing it.

He wouldn’t be where he was at the moment without Soonyoung, and vice versa. He was a better person because of him, less grumpy, more passionate and inspired.

Soonyoung, cliché as it may sound, was Jihoon’s exception to everything. Although the fans have a general idea that were close since they share the same burdens, they have no idea just how much closer they were in real life.

Jihoon knew that fans often see him as some sort of tsundere to Soonyoung’s affectionate advances and even awkward, but that’s not true. There were a lot of things that happen behind the camera that the fans are not privy to.

Jihoon in real life was more tolerant of Soonyoung’s need for skin-ship and will even initiate some himself. He just didn’t like doing it in front of the camera. He was just selfish. Moments with his best friend are the most special to him, so he rather savor them alone and in private, away from the prying eyes and the imaginative eyes of some fans.

If they do seem awkward in front of the camera, it was an unspoken agreement to act that way.

But sometimes, Jihoon forgets and is often photographed or captured in camera looking fondly at Soonyoung. There was once they were being interviewed and he casually put his hands on Soonyoung’s thighs, a normal and a usual gesture from him. He forgot the cameras and the fans went frenzy. Jihoon knew and would often admit to himself that he was whipped for Soonyoung, in a totally non romantic way, he told himself.

“I’m not going.” Jihoon said with finality. He knew Soonyoung was thinking that he was being in the way again of his relationship with Xia, but that was the farther from the truth. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay. He wants to spend his new year with non other that Soonyoung, it was as simple as that. Jihoon wished Soonyoung could see that, but the other was busy feeling guilty over some non-existent reason.

“You know it’s okay to take a break once in a while.” Soonyoung said breaking his reverie.

It was just like Soonyoung to think that it was his tasks that was keeping him there.

Soonyoung opened a cola and handed it to Jihoon. He watched as his friend frowned over what he just said before taking the cola. He knew Soonyoung was just being polite and selfless.

Jihoon knew Soonyoung well enough to know that he couldn’t possibly want him away with the new year coming up. It was a tradition that they have never broken, not even once, and he was not going to start breaking it just because Xia wanted him thousand of miles away from home.

He could live with Xia’s complaints, but not with Soonyoung’s disappointment, not that he’ll ever show it to him. Besides, he really wanted to stay.

“I know, but what Xia wants is not a break. It’s a nightmare.” Jihoon grabbed his bowl of instant rice and started eating.

It was true what he said. Being with Xia meant having to be alert 24/7 with all her demands. She expected Jihoon to take care of her all the time, which was exhausting for Jihoon. If he was going to take a break, he rather spend it at home with no one to disturb him in his cocoon and in hibernation mode, except for Soonyoung. He likes being alone, but he liked it better spent with Soonyoung. The nights were less lonely. The other boy just calms him and his nerves, allowing him to be more productive.

Jihoon was also not entirely confident with Xia’s plan. Despite, their relationship, they haven’t actually had sex yet. Mostly because of their busy schedules, but also because, as Xia would often point out, Jihoon does not take the initiative to ravish her.

Instead, their actual sexual relationships minus the sex video calls were limited to Xia’s hands wrapped around Jihoon’s manhood or Xia on her knees choking on Jihoon’s cock. While Jihoon would return the favor with her being dry humped on the couch by Jihoon with his knee. The only dick action she ever had was when she straddled Jihoon on the couch and rubbed her crotch over Jihoon’s half hard manhood and even then Jihoon pushed her away even before she can achieved some kind of release. He claimed he heard someone knock despite the fact that it was already three in the morning and the company was already deserted. They fought that day with Xia accusing him of not being aroused by her before walking out. Jihoon appeased her by buying her another luxury bag, which she happily accepted before running off to Japan for a schedule.

Jihoon knew they were excuses, but he just couldn’t go through with it without feeling guilty, of which he wasn’t entirely sure.

“She’s your girlfriend. You’re supposed to want to spend more time with her.” Soonyoung said while he munched on his kimchi fried rice. Jihoon watched Soonyoung who seemed to have forgotten his initial disappointment and was now busily devouring the food he brought for the both of them.

“Sure sure.” Jihoon answered not really meaning it. He snapped himself out of staring at Soonyoung and focused on the food laid out on the coffee table, most of them were his favorite. It was going to be Christmas eve soon. There was some sort of Christmas concert that they were supposed to attend, but it got cancelled due to a problem with the venue.

There was some sort of bomb threat or something. So, they decided to spend it together. All of the members decided to go home for the holidays and be back in time for New Year. Jihoon decided to stay and catch up on some work, Soonyoung didn’t want to leave Jihoon alone on Christmas, so he stayed.

“Ji—“

“Give it a rest, Kwon.” Jihoon interrupted and stood up to take something from his drawer. “Here.” 

**Soonyoung's Post**

*Scoups: I already know what it is. (Correction)

Jihoon tossed him a small box that Soonyoung almost didn’t catch, almost giving Jihoon a nervous break down.

“Yah! I know it’s small but that’s fucking expensive!” Jihoon yelled and sat beside Soonyoung on the couch.

Not that price matters, but the gift was really expensive and was difficult to find. He grabbed his bowl of rice and started eating again, while Soonyoung examined the box wrapped in black gift wrapper with a black ribbon around it. Jihoon’s heart almost dropped again when he saw Soonyoung shook the box, which he immediately stopped doing when he saw Jihoon’s expression.

“What is this?” Soonyoung asked weighing the box on his hand. He tried shaking it again when then other did not answer but Jihoon stopped him.

“It’s a Christmas present dummy. Please stop trying to shake it.” Jihoon gave Soonyoung a warning glare and released Soonyoung’s hand to resume eating again.

“But we said no gifts!” Soonyoung said but couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face.

He excitedly held on to the box and made Jihoon laughed when he unintentionally squealed from excitement. Soonyoung had an extreme mood meter, overly excited and overly quiet. Jihoon didn’t really care which one Soonyoung was in, he like Soonyoung in whichever mood he was.

“I know, but I saw it and thought, why not?” Jihoon said nonchalantly. He did saw it and bought it, but months ago. He scoured the internet looking for someone selling it and had to go through twice the amount of time he spent looking for someone with an actual certificate of authenticity.

He knew it would be perfect for Soonyoung who was obsessed with tigers. It was a little bit expensive, maybe a bit more expensive, but it was going to be worth the look on Soonyoung’s face once he sees it. There was nothing more that Jihoon likes than a happy tiger.

“Thanks!” Soonyoung said and unceremoniously threw a box that’s hastily wrapped to Jihoon. “Here’s mine.”

“You just—“

“I know. I know. But I saw that in the store yesterday when I was on my way here.” Soonyoung answered.

**Jihoon Post**

*Soonyoiung: I’m not just good in wrapping.

*Xia: Babe just gave u a pretty present and u give him trash. It’s so like u Sooniee. Kidding! Love yah!

He already ripping off the wrapping paper on his gift, but stopped when he saw the box itself. He knew right then and there what’s inside. He knew right there and then that there was no way he was going to accept it.

“Thanks!” Jihoon answered but was surprised when Soonyoung tried to grab the box that he just gave Jihoon. “Yah! What are you doing?”

Soonyoung always tried to give Jihoon the best present that he could think of. He knew Jihoon like the back of his hand, and love buying stuff for him. But that particular year, they made a pact not give each other gifts for the holidays and just stick to birthdays. He paled when he saw the green box peeking from the wrapper. He mentally smacked himself for grabbing a gift at last minute. To make matters worst, it was a gift that he just saw in one of the stores on his way to the company that morning. He only even bought it because it made him think of Jihoon. It certainly wasn’t planned as a Christmas present. Plus, his friends were right it was trash.

Soonyoung was still trying to grab on to the box which Jihoon moved farther away by stretching his arms as straight as he could, away from Soonyoung’s grabby hands.

But Soonyoung was desperate so he straddled Jihoon while still trying to grab the box from the latter’s hands. Jihoon stopped breathing when he came face to face with Soonyoung’s chest. He could smell Soonyoung’s soap which smelled fresh and very similar to baby powder.

Jihoon could feel just how close Soonyoung was with his current position, one hand on the back rest of the couch, while the other was reaching for the present on Jihoon’s hand, chest near his face, and knees on each side of his thighs.

Unconsciously, Jihoon slightly moved his face closer to Soonyoung’s chest and inconspicuously, Jihoon’s other hand found its way to Soonyoung’s thigh but the latter didn’t notice since he immediately moved away when he successfully grabbed the gift from the totally distracted Jihoon.

Soonyoung immediately got off, waking Jihoon up from his thoughts. He was still shook with what happened and how he reacted, that Soonyoung was already putting the gift away when he came to his senses.

“Yah, you said that’s my gift!” Jihoon yelled.

He grabbed Soonyoung through his hoodie and pulled him back to the couch. Soonyoung scrambled to get away from him, but Jihoon was faster. He wrapped his arms around Soonyoung’s waist to keep the other boy from completely moving away.

“Sorry, Jihoon. I’ll buy you another one.” Soonyoung said while still trying to keep the box away from Jihoon.

“Give it back or I’ll kick your ass.” Jihoon successfully grabbed the gift back when he moved to tickle Soonyoung in the waist. A move that eventually made Soonyoung let go of the box just to stop Jihoon from tickling him even more.

Jihoon smiled and slowly examined the gift on his hand, while Soonyoung looked disgruntled beside him. It was hastily wrapped but anything from Soonyoung was perfect for Jihoon. Soonyoung sat quietly as he watched Jihoon opened his gift. Jihoon smiled when he found a black panther head display.

“I love it! It’s going to be perfect here.”

**Jihoon Post**

Jihoon stood up and excitedly placed his new black panther display on the table beside his collection of bear bricks that Soonyoung also bought for him. His studio was slowly becoming a museum of gifts from Soonyoung, except for a few things which he kept at home, likehis favorite hoody and several shirts. Everything was in the studio, including Gucci slip on which he was currently wearing, which Soonyoung gave him for— he doesn’t remember. When he faced Soonyoung the other boy was looking at his gift, a portion of the wrapping paper was torn and the box was already peeking from being wrapped.

“Yah! Why don’t you open it?” Jihoon asked as he returned to sit beside the other boy who was still clutching the box with his hand.

“Ji, I— I can’t accept this.” Soonyoung said offering the box back to Jihoon, who frowned.

“Why not?” Jihoon took the box and unceremoniously tore the wrapping paper, revealing the green leather box inside with a printed crown on the cover.

**Soonyoung Twitter Post**

Soonyoung put down his phone after reading his members comments. He was trying to avoid opening the box but knew Jihoon would be hurt if he ignores it.

He opened the box revealing a diamond-set Cosmograph Daytona Rolex watch. It has a black-lacquered dial with yellow-gold and diamond-set, with a wavy structure on the surface, which looked like a tiger fur. Jihoon removed the watch from the box. He grabbed Soonyoung’s left hand. The other boy was about to protest when he gave him one of his terrifying glares. He pinched the skin on Soonyoung’s fingers and then brushed his thumb on his knuckles before slowly putting the watch on Soonyoung’s left hand. “They call it the eye of the tiger.”

Soonyoung sigh at his friend. He knew what it was, and he knew it was astronomically expensive.

“Ji, I know what this is and it’s too much—“

“No, it’s not.” Jihoon said as he held Soonyoung’s hand up admiring the way the watch perfect fit the latter’s hand. He was still holding his hand when Soonyoung spoke again.

“I know you have lots of money from royalty but—“ Soonyoung stopped when he saw Jihoon’s face changed from happy to disappointed. Jihoon was also pursing his lips and completely let go of Soonyoung’s hand, a sign that he’s pissed.

“Never mind. If you don’t like it just put it in the box and leave it somewhere.” Jihoon said. He grabbed the box and placed it on Soonyoung’s lap. He was hoping for a bit of enthusiasm from Soonyoung and was irritated that he was bringing up money at the moment. He then grabbed the bowl of rice he temporarily abandoned and resumed eating, without saying a word or even giving Soonyoung a glance.

“Jihoon—“

“It’s okay. Let’s just eat.” Jihoon quietly said and continued eating. They spent the next few minutes quietly eating, with Soonyoung looking at Jihoon every now and then to see if he was still pissed.

After they were done, Soonyoung cleaned up and sat beside Jihoon who still haven’t said a word since his little outburst. He took a deep breath, before softly nudging Jihoon’s thigh with his, an action which the latter completely ignored. He knew he shouldn’t have brought up the cost of the gift. Jihoon hated that. But he also thought that he didn’t deserve the gift he just received, even though he really really wanted to accept it. It’s the eye of the tiger, and he wanted it so bad, but it also cost a lot. Soonyoung felt that it was too much.

“Ji, come on. Let’s not fight. It’s Christmas.”

Soonyoung rested his hand on Jihoon’s thigh trying to make the other react, but Jihoon stayed still, quiet, and mad. He reassuringly tapped his hand hoping to calm Jihoon down. It was nothing new. The frustration sometimes gets to Jihoon, and all that Soonyoung could do was reassure Jihoon of his presence and wait for him to calm down. Soonyoung leaned back on the couch and rested his head on Jihoon’s shoulders while still kneading Jihoon’s thigh with his hand. Soonyoung was expecting to be pushed away, but to his surprised Jihoon didn’t move. He raised his hand where the watch was still on.

“It’s really pretty. I like it a lot.” Soonyoung said but Jihoon just kept quiet. “But you know it’s too much. I’m sorry.”

Soonyoung raised his hand again to admire the watch and sigh. If Jihoon couldn’t say no to him, it was the same for Soonyoung. Soonyoung kept still as he waited for Jihoon to say something or do something, but the other one just stayed quiet. He fidgeted and tapped Jihoon’s legs in a nervous gesture. He knew it was too much. It was too much as a Christmas present for a friend. He told himself there was no way that he could accept it, no matter how angry Jihoon gets. He made the wrong move of looking at Jihoon whose frown deepened as more time past. Soonyoung sigh and was already slightly worried that he just ruined their Christmas. He can’t win with Jihoon, he thought. 

“I— I love it. Thank you, Hoonie.” Soonyoung whispered. It was then that Jihoon pushed Soonyoung’s head away from his shoulder and started laughing.

Soonyoung was startled for a bit before he realized just what happened.

“Good.” Jihoon said in between laughter. “Now post it and say thank you.”

He knew the drill. Jihoon knew that he just needed to act angry and stay quiet for a bit before Soonyoung finally gives in to his demands. It always worked, no matter how many times Soonyoung promised not to fall for it ever again.

“You’re a brat.” Soonyoung said when he realized that Jihoon wasn’t really mad. He was just acting to get what he wants. He groaned in frustration when he realized he had just fallen into one of Jihoon’s oldest trick in the book. Soonyoung took his phone to brag about his new watch.

**Soonyoung Public Post**

**Soonyoung's Private Post**

****

*Dk: So there’s also a watch inside the jewelry box? Wow!

Soonyoung grabbed a couple of beer from the paper bag and handed one out to Jihoon. “Here asshole. Drink up!”

Jihoon was still laughing when he grabbed the beer from Soonyoung. They weren’t really alcohol drinkers, but it was Christmas so they decided to just buy a few bottles.

“I’m glad you liked it.” Jihoon finally said when his laughter died down.

“You could have given me bead bracelet and I would have love it.”

“I know that, but I wanted to give you that exactly.” Jihoon said. He grabbed Soonyoung’s hand and gave it a squeeze before letting it go to grab his beer bottle.

“We should have went somewhere to drink.” Jihoon said as he looked around the studio. He was okay with staying there but he also wanted to go somewhere else where they could feel the Christmas spirit. He didn’t even decorate the room, finding it useless and a waste of time, preferring to focus more on work. But it was a holiday, and he felt maybe he should have put a little more effort since he was spending it with Soonyoung. 

Soonyoung, on the other hand, looked a little pale. He looked as if he was just ran over by a truck. He looked ready to pass out on the couch.

“Please don’t force me to go somewhere. I’m exhausted.” Soonyoung said as he took off his shoes and sweatshirt revealing his black sleeveless top which he hastily put on after showering. He was in his sweatpants. Basically, he was dressed to stay in and sleep. “I finished the choreography for halfway of the song, and I’m done.”

Jihoon noticed just how exhausted Soonyoung looked. He unconsciously stared at Soonyoung’s arm muscle as the other boy tried to get in a more comfortable position. He watched as Soonyoung rolled his shoulder hoping the relieved a little bit of tension on his muscles.

“Show me.” Jihoon blurted without thinking.

“No way!” Soonyoung protested. Even if he wanted to he was just tapped out for the night. The flips and jumps didn’t help his aching muscles. He was just pushing through his exhaustion because it was Christmas and he promised to spend it with Jihoon.

“Then I won’t let you hear what I’ve been working on tonight.” Jihoon answered back smirking. He was about to kick Soonyoung off the couch to force him to show what he had been working on, but noticed the other boy had been rolling his shoulder for quite some time and his forehead was pinched into a frown. “Is it your shoulder again?”

Soonyoung took a sip of his beer before answering. He didn’t want to admit it to Jihoon, that he’s tired and aching. The other boy would insist that they cut their celebration short and for him to rest.

Soonyoung had been havingthe same problems with his shoulder for almost a year and even dislocated it during a concert. He had been receiving therapy for it but with the workload piling up, there wasn’t much time to heal.

Jihoon, worriedly moved and positioned himself behind Soonyoung who scooted at the edge of the couch to give Jihoon room and was in between Jihoon’s thighs. He was about to go on with massaging Soonyoung, but for some reason he hesitated. The closeness was a normal thing between the two of them, so Jihoon couldn’t understand why he was hesitating. He softly pulled Soonyoung’s hair with his fingers which was already longer than usual.

“You need a hair cut.” Jihoon said, while Soonyoung hummed absentmindedly in response.

Jihoon pressed both his thumbs on Soonyoung’s neck, starting from the part where his hair meet the skin till just above the shoulder. He repeated the action again when he heard Soonyoung sigh in relief at first contact. He concentrated on Soonyoung’s neck until he could feel all the tension leave. He then moved both hands on Soonyoung’s shoulder and started kneading them softly, earning him another content sigh from Soonyoung. Jihoon kneaded Soonyoung’s shoulder, moving his thumb in circular motion and applying just the right amount of pressure.

“Does it hurt?” Jihoon asked as he continued his massaging the other boy. He could feel his stress melt away, but Jihoon knew it wasn’t enough. Soonyoung needed to heal, and their workload wasn’t helping. Maybe he should take on some of the responsibility in choreography, he thought, but he knew Soonyoung would take offense in that.

“A little bit, but good hurt, you know?” Jihoon nodded. He understood the feeling. It was indeed a good pain, the feeling when your muscles that are worn out and tangled are being stretched out a bit. Jihoon then placed both his hands inside of Soonyoung’s shirt to massage him better, making the other gasp from the sudden contact.

“Sorry, are my hands cold?” Jihoon asked as he immediately moved to withdraw his hands.

“It’s okay. It feels better.” Soonyoung answered. Jihoon smirked, he knew Soonyoung was lying. The other boy was too tolerant of him. Jihoon rubbed both his hands together, before starting to massage Soonyoung again.

Soonyoung, on the other hand, savored the relief it brought to his aching body. But he savored the closeness even more. It was a rare moment for Jihoon to initiate such closeness, but when he does it was worth it. Soonyoung could feel all the stress from his failed choreography session and acrobatic class fade away. He could feel his body starting to relax as Jihoon continued massaging his shoulders and shoulder blades. Soonyoung felt better because Jihoon knew what part of Soonyoung’s shoulder needed the attention. He knew just the amount of pressure to put on his hands to relieve Soonyoung and ease the pain away.

When Soonyoung felt that Jihoon was getting tired, he leaned back into Jihoon, resting against Jihoon’s chest. He let his head fall on Jihoon’s shoulder who placed both hands on his shoulder.

“Thank you.” Soonyoung whispered. He wanted to close his eyes right there and then, savoring Jihoon’s warmth, but he knew if he did that the chances of Jihoon not pushing him away were slim. He waited for it, but to his surprised it didn’t come. “Ji?”

“Hmmm?” Jihoon answered, mouth near Soonyoung’s ear tickling him a bit and hands still softly kneading his shoulders

“Merry Christmas.” Soonyoung whispered.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Ji?” Soonyoung asked again still comfortable leaning on Jihoon’s back.

“Hmmm?” Jihoon asked again.

“Warn me.”

“Warn you about what?”

“I don’t want to fall on the floor at the moment. My ass hurt from all those squats from the choreography— aah!”

Soonyoung squared when he felt Jihoon’s moved from his shoulder to his waist and pinched him on both sides.

“I’m not massaging your ass.” Jihoon interjected while immediately started tickling him, making Soonyoung fall with his bum hitting the floor.

“Ouch! Seriously!” Soonyoung yelled as a laughing Jihoon pulled him back on the couch. “I didn’t ask you to, asshole.”

Jihoon kept on laughing as Soonyoung rubbed his aching ass. Every part of Soonyoung’s body did ache since he spent almost 12 hours in the practice room that day and another two hours on an acrobatic class. Jihoon looked at Soonyoung with concern when he realized that the boy was really in a bit of pain.

“Yah, what kind of choreography did you even do that even you’re back is aching?” Jihoon asked.

He pulled Soonyoung to their original position and started kneading his shoulders.

“I have a better idea.” Jihoon pushed Soonyoung off him and made him lie on the couch face down. He then positioned himself behind Soonyoung, knees on both side of Soonyoung’s waist and started massaging Soonyoung’s lower back by moving his hands upwards on both side of his spine all the way to his shoulders. He made circular motions and pressed his thumbs more firmly as he moved his hands upward. He then would move across the shoulder and started tracing his hands down Soonyoung’s upper arms with his hand.

“Ahh.. Jihoonie…” Soonyoung moaned a little when felt Jihoon pressed on the painful areas of his back.

“Shut up.” Jihoon snapped as he pressed both his fist on Soonyoung’s lower back, moving lower, and lower until he reached the buttocks which he pressed with his fist.

“Ji… That feels so great… ahhh… a bit harder..” Soonyoung moaned.

“Yah! Shut up!” Jihoon said but followed Soonyoung’s instruction and pressed harder. “You’ll make others think we’re doing something!”

“Some— something?”

“Nothing.” Jihoon blushed and continued pressing on Soonyoung’s lower back which seemed to be the one that bothered Soonyoung the most. He stopped when Soonyoung’s shirt hitched a little exposing a bit of skin that seemed to be bruised. Soonyoung tried to stop him but his movements were limited with his position and Jihoon already lifted his shirt revealing his lower back where a huge bruise was already forming.

“Yah—“ Jihoon tried to say but Soonyoung already moved from his position and scrambled to get away from Jihoon. When he successfully stood up, he fixed his shirt and smiled awkwardly at Jihoon who already glaring at him. “Spill.”

Soonyoung sigh as he sat down on the couch again beside Jihoon who tried to look at the bruised again but Soonyoung stopped him. Soonyoung grabbed another beer and gave to Jihoon who took the bottle despite of his irritation. Soonyoung took a minute to drink before finally opening his mouth to speak.

“I took a bad fall earlier in acrobatic class, but they already checked me! Nothing’s broken, just a bit bruised. That’s all.” Soonyoung explained. He was on a high beam, and was supposed to do a black flip, but somehow he slipped and hit his back on the beam. It hurt like hell but there was no way Soonyoung was going to admit that with the way Jihoon was glaring at him. He loved going to those classes and wouldn’t want to be forbidden if ever Jihoon decides to tell the the company. 

He took another swig of his beer and waited for Jihoon to say something. It was just their second bottle but he was already feeling effects of the alcohol. He could feel in his bloodstream.

“Are you sure you´re okay?” Jihoon finally asked, but Soonyoung could still feel that his friend was brooding.

“Yeah, the acrobatic class I signed up for is proving to be a pain in the ass but it’s worth it.” Soonyoung answered. He couldn’t stop falling on his ass every time he does a back hand flip but Jihoon doesn’t have to know that. 

“Told you it was a bad idea.”

“Well, forgive me for trying to improve and think of more ways to contribute to the team.” Soonyoung muttered under his breath, his slight irritation was slightly showing. He tried to explain it to Jihoon weeks ago why he enrolled but the other just wouldn’t understand since he’s useful for the team already. Jihoon must have noticed his slight irritation because his tone suddenly changed to something softer.

“Soons, you contribute a lot already.”

“You and I both know that’s not true. I hardly have any choreography that’s approve and hardly have time to actually choreograph something to be able to actually submit something.” Soonyoung complained even though he knew it was of no use. The frustration was killing him and the only thing he could do at the moment was try to study more and gather more ideas which he can use for the team, but nothing was working out. “I feel like the LookTeam had taken the rein. I know its a good thing but I also can’t help but feel useless since it’s supposed to be my responsibility.”

“Soons-"

“No, Ji. You wouldn’t understand because you have complete control over the musical aspect of our team. I, on the other hand, feels like my usefulness— I feel like— I’m fading.” Soonyoung whispered. He turned his head as he took another sip of his beer not wanting Jihoon to see just how dejected he felt at the moment, but Jihoon knew better. The other boy moved closer and softly patted Soonyoung on the shoulder.

“That happens Soons, we’re too busy for you to actually stay in the studio all the time and make something. There’s just not enough time, and your usefulness is not fading. You’re definitely not fading, not even after a long time. The team will fall apart without you. I will fall apart without you. I’m here constantly needing you to rein in my frustrations so I can actually write a decent song.” Jihoon explained. What he didn’t say was that most of the songs he had written were inspired by something that Soonyoung did or say. Nothing major, just the simple things, like when Soonyoung was teaching choreography and he jokingly asked the members to marched while yelling left, right, left, right; like how Soonyoung yelled he was getting dizzy from liking an actress that they were watching during their pre debut time; or how he would demonstrate a particular dance move that he wants to use in a song. Soonyoung may not write the song itself, but he was the motivation behind most of them.

“I’m serious! You don’t understand because you’re the—“

“Don’t say that I don’t understand, because I do.” Jihoon snapped but regretted it immediately. He knew Soonyoung was just frustrated. He continued a little more softly.

“Soons, I am serious when I say that you are more than useful. You are essential. Everyone of us is. You’re just not used to not being able to work on your choreo because we’re too busy. I can do it because I can write songs anywhere and—“ Jihoon stopped when he saw the expression on Soonyoung’s face. “I’m just making these worse, aren’t?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” Soonyoung gave Jihoon a halfhearted smile.

“Im sorry. Tell me what I can do to make it better?”

“You’ve already done plenty. I’m sorry. I’m ruining our jolly Christmas.” Soonyoung said.

“Of course not. Hmm…” Jihoon looked around the room as if he were looking for something. “Were you really serious about learning producing?”

“I only said it so—“

“Let’s do it.” Jihoon interrupted. He didn’t like it when Soonyoung feels insecure as to his role in the team. Besides, Soonyoung had been pestering him for months to teach him but he just didn’t have the time. He also didn’t think that Soonyoung was serious during those times and he was ashamed to admit that there was a little mistrust in the mix to actually let Soonyoung use expensive technology. Now Jihoon was regretting it. He should have gave in to the request if only he knew that Soonyoung was feeling bad, even though he has no reason to feel bad.

Jihoon made a mental note to have a talk with the company. Soonyoung had been doing plenty, participating with the choreography for the title song and even the songs for their awards performances. He manages every group practice and choreographs B-side tracks with the performance team. But it is rarely mentioned nor acknowledged by the company itself, and that needed to change.

“Ji, you don’t have to—“

“I’ll teach you, okay?” Jihoon insisted. “Or if you want, we can talk to the company and make them give us time so you can work on your choreography? I know our schedule is currently full but we can try.”

“No, thank you. Let’s just forget it. I’m just being a brat. The team comes first.” Soonyoung said and took another drink of his beer.

“Yeah, but—“

“It’s okay. I’m just in one those moods where no matter what I do I feel like a failure.” Soonyoung explained.

“I know how you feel. That’s me every second of the day.” Jihoon admitted. “We’re two peas in a pod.”

Soonyoung smiled at Jihoon’s statement. He felt good to know that he wasn’t alone. He asked himself why he even worries when he knows that Jihoon always got his back.

Without warning, Jihoon suddenly stood up and went to his desk. He grabbed his MacBook from his backpack and set it up on the table before turning it on. He then stood up and rummage around his drawer for his old launch pad, one that he no longer uses. He set it up and then opened a new file in the garage band. He also managed to dig up some old headphones which he attached to his laptop. Soonyoung thought Jihoon just had an inspiration and was about to work again, but to his surprise the other boy faced him.

“Come here, and grab that chair, will you?” Jihoon said referring to the extra chair near the door.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“I can’t. I think I’m drunk.” Soonyoung said as he staggered towards the chair and then towards Jihoon.

“Even better. Come on tiger.” Jihoon said as he took the chair from Soonyoung. The term of endearment didn’t escape Soonyoung’s notice. Jihoon must have felt bad for him to even call him that when he was supposedly against his tiger agenda, Soonyoung thought.

Jihoon then guided Soonyoung to sit on his beloved computer chair before sitting on the plastic chair that Soonyoung brought.

“Ji—“

“It’s okay. What’s mine is yours or something like that. This is my extra laptop and launchpad which you can bring with you anywhere. I’ll teach you the basic so you can practice on your own.” Jihoon said.

“You don’t have to do this.” Soonyoung said. Jihoon was busy as it is without adding producing lessons. He was just being a brat and told himself he’ll feel better in a few days and didn’t have to burden Jihoon with his problems.

“I know. But this isn’t free.” Jihoon smiled as he grabbed Soonyoung’s hand and guided them to the launchpad.

“What’s payment then?”

“A few colas?” Jihoon suggested.

“No way!”

“A no questions asked favor coupon then?”

Soonyoung groaned. He hated those no questions asked favor coupons because most of the time Jihoon requests for something that’s not even that useful to him, like when he asked Soonyoung to stay in bed all the time and made him sleep, or the favor he asked that Soonyoung drives him to the hospital for a general check up only to find out later that Jihoon also made an appointment for him.

“Fine, but it has to be something for you.” Soonyoung insisted.

“Okay, deal.” Jihoon answered.

“Fine.” Soonyoung said.

Jihoon began explaining how everything worked, and by the time Soonyoung got the hand of everything, he was already drunk. He staggered to the sofa where he watched Soonyoung play around with the equipment. He fell asleep somewhere in the middle of the hundredth horanghae he heard Soonyoung yell on the microphone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For rants:
> 
> Twitter ---> @soonhaee  
> 🐯 ---> http://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee
> 
> Comments and rants are welcome. ❤️  
> Stay positive!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞
> 
> CW : Explicit language and Content

Jihoon woke up to a dark studio. Every light was turned off except for the one that was coming off his old laptop screen or Soonyoung’s new laptop screen if the latter accepts it, he wasn’t using it anyways. He was cold and his shoulder felt heavy where Soonyoung’s head was comfortably resting and a bit wet from little bit of drool from Soonyoung’s slightly open mouth, which he should have found gross, but found it endearing instead.

He listened to Soonyoung’s soft snores engulfing the whole room, waiting for sleepiness to visit him again. He must have fallen asleep on the couch while watching the other boy play around with the equipment. His neck hurt a little but he tried not to move too much and disturb the boy sleeping on his shoulder.

Soonyoung must have doze off beside him after playing around with his old launchpad and laptop. Jihoon hoped that somehow it help Soonyoung’s feeling that’s he’s useless, because he believed that it was so far from that. It was common, the feeling of not doing enough or not being enough. Soonyoung and Jihoon felt it the most, but they have always found ways to overcome it. But Jihoon could see that Soonyoung was pushing himself too much and hurting himself in the process.

He turned his head to get a glimpse of the sleeping boy beside him and suddenly he had the urge to hold Soonyoung’s hand, so he did. He gave it a little squeeze of reassurance before letting go.

Jihoon looked around in the darkness again. He knew his studio was currently a mess, but it was okay since it was their mess. It was never an issue because Soonyoung was the one who cleans up anyways. Soonyoung would always try to clean up a little when he hangs out with Jihoon while the latter works. Jihoon knew the mess was not too much. There were exactly six bottles of beer on the table which was enough for them to get drunk. It wasn’t a surprise that they did. They weren’t really strong drinkers. He preferred banana milks and Soonyoung does enjoyed a drink every now and then, but not enough to build up an alcohol tolerance.

**Xia / Jihoon**

He put back his phone on the side table. He was almost falling asleep again when he felt Soonyoung move. They were still sitting side by side on the couch with Soonyoung’s head resting on his shoulder, one hand on his chest while the other was resting on Jihoon’s thighs. Soonyoung was hogging all the blanket which explained why he was a bit cold. He moved a bit to flick Soonyoung’s forehead but was startled when the latter suddenly spoke.

“Jihoon?”

“Huh? Are you awake?”

“The ice cream. Lick the ice cream.” Soonyoung said, as he incessantly tap his thigh, eyes still shut and a bit of drool on his lips.

“What ice cream?”

“Jihoon’s going to kill me.”

“What—“ Jihoon almost laughed when he realized that Soonyoung was having a dream.

Jihoon watched in fascination as Soonyoung who looked a bit scared insisted that he lick the ice cream. He almost laughed out loud but was startled when Soonyoung’s hand on his thigh moved higher. A not so innocent thought quickly passed his mind, one that he hurriedly buried somewhere to be forgotten.

It wasn’t the first time that it happened, Soonyoung always talk in his sleep when drunk and not so innocent thoughts about Soonyoung sometimes do come to mind. He told himself it was normal. The website said it was normal. It was nothing be alarmed with.

“KIM MINGYU! The ice cream! The ice cream!” Soonyoung yelled again.

Soonyoung yelled as he reached out with one hand for something that only he could see, while his other hand moved higher on Jihoon’s thigh, yanking his shorts farther up exposing his thighs even more.

Jihoon stared at Soonyoung’s hand gripping on his thigh. Thumb caressing his inner thighs. Hecould feel how each finger were pressed on his skin. He could feel the pad’s of Soonyoung’s finger, rough on his skin. He shivered a bit when Soonyoung moved andtraced with his finger tip a non-existent ice cream on his thigh. He wanted more, Jihoon begrudgingly admitted to himself. He wanted Soonyoung to touch him some more.

He blushed in embarrassment when he realized what he was thinking, even though there was no one there to witness his predicament. It was just a weird thought, he told himself. It was something that should be purged from the beginning and shouldn’t be repeated, ever.

Jihoon told himself to hang in there, and think happy thoughts. Soonyoung will eventually snap out of his dream, but Soonyoung’s sudden movement caused Jihoon to groan a little when the other boy clutched his shirts with his fist and a stretched finger accidentally brushed his manhood.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Stop touching me. I’m going to combust._ Jihoon thought, but despite his in words he was already sweating and trembling in anticipation of something more. He clenched his fists on his side while he willed himself to not get a hard on, but it was already too late. He was already half hard just from the simple brush of Soonyoung’s fingertip. 

Jihoon held his breath, refusing to move, willing Soonyoung to stop moving. He told himself to keep still but it was difficult not to when Soonyoung’s hand was just a brush away from his dick. He could feel the shadow of Soonyoung’s finger on his manhood. He badly wanted to move a little closer as he craved for the touch that never seem to come.

It was driving him mad not knowing whether to keep still and savor the feeling or move and wake Soonyoung up. He snapped out of it and was just about to move the other boy’s hand when Soonyoung moved closer to him.

Jihoon could feel Soonyoung’s face on his neck, nose brushing his skin and tickled by Soonyoung’s breathing. Jihoon could feel each exhale of breath and how the warmth softly caress every bit of his skin. He almost moaned when he imagined feeling it all over his body.

“My ice cream.” Soonyoung whispered huskily and to Jihoon’s surprised, he started licking Jihoon’s neck while his other hand was now over Jihoon crotch, just hovering. He let out a small gasp when he felt Soonyoung slowly traced his jugular with the tip of his tongue while he softly stroked with his fingertips the contours of Jihoon’s dick on his shorts.

_Shit, that feels so good._ Jihoon closed his eyes. He let his head all on the backrest of the couch and unconsciously spread his legs a little wider for Soonyoung.

He allowed himself to succumbed to the burning feeling building on his stomach as he found himself reacting to Soonyoung’s touch. He found it surprising to be so hot already when Soonyoung was barely touching him. No one, not even his girlfriend, had ever illicit such a strong reaction from him.

“Wipe it off. Wipe it off or it will stain. Jihoonie don’t kill me please. I buy a new one.” Soonyoung whispered.

“Ahhh… Shit…” Jihoon moaned quietly as Soonyoung switched from his finger tips to his palm. He bit his lips to stop himself from making more sound but couldn’t stop himself from arching his hips a little bit.

Soonyoung continued to palmed Jihoon slowly at first and gradually picking up speed in wiping motion. Jihoon groaned as Soonyoung rubbed himself into hardness. He should be stopping Soonyoung already but he already far gone. His thoughts and senses were all consumed by the fire that Soonyoung’s hand seem to bring. Never have he felt so aroused that all his mental faculties went out the window. Knowing that it was Soonyoung’s hand touching him drove his mind into overdrive. He could feel a patch of wetness already forming on his underwear.

“Ahhh...” Jihoon pants and lets his head fall on the backrest, unintentionally giving Soonyoung more access to his neck and spreading his thighs wider for Soonyoung. Jihoon never knew that Soonyoung’s touch could drive his libido into frenzy. He wanted more. He found himself also wanting to touch Soonyoung, maybe even return the favor.

“Kim Mingyu needs to stop showering in ice cream.” Soonyoung said out of nowhere before he suddenly stopped. Jihoon was already hard and was panting with his mouth open, anticipating what Soonyoung’s next move was.

He wished Soonyoung would stop saying another boy’s name when his hand was on his crotch. He also wished he’d move his hands again. But Soonyoung’s hand remained still.

“Clean.” Soonyoung said, face crunching into one of his adorable smiles but eyes still closed.He then gave Jihoon’s crotch one last rub and to Jihoon’s irritation he removed his hand from Jihoon’s crotch again, and placed them on his thighs where he started kneading them again a few time before stopping completely.

“I’m sorry for the stain. I’ll buy you a new couch.” Soonyoung whispered and Jihoon couldn’t take it any longer. He was already so hard and he felt like his dick was going to burst from lack of stimulation. He needed Soonyoung to touch him properly or at least take a bit of responsibility, otherwise he had to do it himself and he wasn’t really interested in his own hand. He was deliriously more interested on Soonyoung’s hand wrapped around his entirety.

“Yah, wake up.” Jihoon whispered but the other wouldn’t budge. “Kwon Soonyoung!”

“What?!” Jihoon must have yelled a little bit louder than usual because Soonyoung suddenly jumped a little as his eyes flew open.

The other boy found himself on the floor, a bit disoriented and absentmindedly reaching for something to pull himself up. His eyes widen into saucers when he came face to face with the tent on Jihoon’s crotch. He blushed when he saw his hand on Jihoon’s thigh near the growing tent on Jihoon’s shorts and immediately tried to move but Jihoon stopped him. Jihoon grabbed his hand and gave it squeeze.

“I— I need you.” Jihoon stuttered, all his inhibitions had disappeared and all the mattered was the growing ache on his crotch.

Soonyoung’s eyes grew larger at how desperate Jihoon looked. He couldn’t help but gulp when he realized the need that Jihoon was referring to. His eyes immediately fell on Jihoon’s bulge which his shorts could no longer conceal. Soonyoung swallowed as Jihoon silently begged him to touch him, not entirely sure what happened or how it happened.

_Did he just invade Jihoon’s personal space?_ Soonyoung asked himself. He’d been told he gets extra clingy when drunk and hands out kisses generously towards any member near him. He mentally smacked himself upon the realization that maybe, just maybe his drunkenness had something to do with Jihoon’s hard on.

He found his answer on the way Jihoon was breathing hard, evident irritation on his face, a couple of red marks on his neck, and of course, the evidently growing tent on his shorts. It was definitely the look of having been ravished and left behind just before he could experience the relief. Soonyoung panicked and tried to move again only to be stopped again by Jihoon.

“D-don’t move.” Jihoon whispered. “Please… finish what you started.”

Neediness was already visible in Jihoon’s eyes. There was something in the way that Jihoon was panting with slightly open mouth, legs slightly apart, head resting on the couch totally exposing his somewhat marked neck, fair creamy thighs exposed and his outlined crotch; that’s making Soonyoung dizzy. He unconsciously licked his lips when he saw Jihoon’s fair thighs, smooth and unblemished. The desire went straight to his dick that he started kneading Jihoon’s thighs again. Jihoon groaned when he felt Soonyoung’s knuckle accidentally brushed his manhood.

The sound startled Soonyoung that he immediately stopped, making Jihoon tense again.

“Don’t stop…” Jihoon stuttered so Soonyoung resumed kneading Jihoon’s thigh again. He could feel the irritation slowly leave Jihoon’s body, and replaced with a different kind of tension, a need for that matter,as he rubbed his hands up and down Jihoon’s inner thighs.

Jihoon, on the other hand belatedly realized where their actions could lead to. A small part of him, one whose voice is barely audible, was torn between stopping Soonyoung and guiding Soonyoung’s hand to his aching shaft. He could feel his cock getting harder and harder.

Soonyoung seemed to be testing the water and brushed his knuckles on his growing erection, and the sinful moan that he released went straight to Soonyoung’s dick. Jihoon knew that there was already a patch of wetness on his underwear. It was agonizing and at the same time so arousing for Jihoon not knowing when Soonyoung would touch him directly.

The waiting was making him harder by the moment. He was already panting with need when Soonyoung slowly let his knuckles grazed on Jihoon’s manhood, drawing a sinful moan from the boy which went directly straight to Soonyoung’s dick.

The touch was so tender and hesitant. He could feel Soonyoung’s fingertips brushed on his inner thighs as the boys knuckles slightly brushed the underside of his cock. He could feel Soonyoung’s knuckle brush over his crotch like a feather. Each tender move was making Jihoon crave for so much more

Soonyoung couldn’t take his eyes away from Jihoon’s hard on. He followed the way each brush of his knuckles seemed to make Jihoon’s breath hitch. He could see how each touch, made Jihoon move a little hoping for a little bit more weight on the touch. He could feel Jihoon spread his legs a little wider. Soonyoung, with face flushed and slightly opened mouth, hesitated before releasing Jihoon’s thighs and moved his hand towards the latter’s clothe member. He slowly used his finger to trace the outline of Jihoon’s already hard cock, already straining his loose shorts.

“Soons...”

Upon hearing Jihoon’s shaking voice, Soonyoung started palming Jihoon’s clothe erection. Soonyoung slowly rubbed his palm up and down Jihoon’s cock not quite holding it, making Jihoon shudder from the sensation and a bit irritated at the lack of force in the touch, but he wanted more. He wanted Soonyoung to grabbed his cock instead of just brushing his hand on it. He wanted Soonyoung’s palm itself on his manhood. He wanted Soonyoung to touch him without the barrier of his shorts. It wasn’t enough. He wanted to feel Soonyoung’s hand directly on him, and directly touching him.

Soonyoung must have been a mind reader because he slowly moved his hand towards the helm of Jihoon’s shorts. He looked at Jihoon for consent which the latter gave with a small nod. The first contact of Soonyoung’s hand with Jihoon’s hardness made Jihoon squirm a little and moan a littlelouder which surprised the latter. Jihoon covered his face with both hands in embarrassment as he felt his cock released even more precum which Soonyoung took as derision so he quickly removed his hand which resulted to Jihoon giving him an irritated look

“I’m so— sorry. I thought you nodded in—“

“I’m going to punch you.” Jihoon snapped no longer able to contain his irritation on all the interruptions. So, he took matters into his own hand. He straighten his position and spread his thigh wider before grabbing his own cock from inside his shorts. He gave it a few strokes, before taking his own cock out of his shorts and continued stroking it.

“Ahhh...”

Jihoon was already totally lost in the pleasure to be embarrassed about jerking himself off in front of his best fried. He made a fist with his hand and move it up and down his length using his precum to make his hand glide. He then used his other open hand, rubbing his own palm in circular motion on the slit of the head.

“Ahhh… Shit… Soonyoung…”

He then slowly started moving his hips. Absentmindedly thrusting into his own hand as he chased after his own release.

Soonyoung, on the other hand was frozen in place. He watched Jihoon spread wide beside him, hand slicked with precum, the fapping sound of his hand as it glide up and down his manhood, mouth open with a slight drool on one side, face and neck already red. He watched as Jihoon jerk himself off in front of him totally lost in the pleasure but aware that Soonyoung was watching him.

“Soonyoung…” Jihoon moaned.

Soonyoung wanted to devour Jihoon. At that very moment, he wanted to wreck Jihoon into the depths of passion. Soonyoung couldn’t stop himself any more when he saw a bead of precum trickled down from the tip to Jihoon’s hand. He leaned over and licked it off Jihoon’s hand before entirely engulfing the head of Jihoon’s cock with his mouth.

“Ahhh.. Soons…” Jihoon moaned as he felt Soonyoung’s hot and wet mouth suck the head of his dick. “It.. your mouth… shit.. it feels so good.”

Soonyoung moaned when he felt Jihoon grabbed his hair with both hands and started guiding his head up and down his length. He flattened his tongue out as he felt Jihoon’s cock invade his whole mouth. He could taste the precum mixed with his own saliva. He could feel himself drool as he tried to take as much as Jihoon’s length as he could into his mouth. He wanted to tell Jihoon he was loving the feel of his cock as it glides into his tongue, but with his mouth full he could only moan his pleasure. The vibration in Soonyoung’s throat when he moaned made Jihoon bucked his hips a bit harder, causing his cock to go deeper into Soonyoung’s mouth and surprising Soonyoung when it suddenly hit the back of his throat, making Soonyoung choke for a bit.

Jihoon quickly released Soonyoung from his hold and pulled his head up away from his manhood when he realized that Soonyoung was choking. Soonyoung kept coughing, while trying to apologize to Jihoon, who worriedly rubbed the other boy’s back.

“Shit.” Jihoon wiped away an errant tear from Soonyoung’s cheeks totally worried if he had been to harsh on Soonyoung’s mouth. “I’m sorry, was I too hard?”

“No, I’m so— sorry, Jihoonie.” Soonyoung stuttered as tears fell from his eyes while Jihoon offered him a bottle of water, which he refused. “N— no, I don’t want to wash you away.”

“Huh?” Jihoon asked as he wiped a drool on Soonyoung’s chin with his thumb.

“You’re taste, I want to keep it. I— i don’t want to stop. I— I’m sorry, I’m such an idiot. It’s my first time so—“ Soonyoung tried to apologized but to his surprised, Jihoon laughed.

“First time?”

“I meant giving at giving a blowjob, okay?” Soonyoung pouted a little.

So, Jihoon straddled him. Both hands on his shoulder as he rested his forehead on Soonyoung’s forehead. They were so close. Their lips almost touching, but for some reason Jihoon held back. Soonyoung badly wanted for the bit of space between their lips to disappear, but thoughts of kissing disappeared when he felt Jihoon lowered himself on Soonyoung’s lap and rubbed his clothe crotch against Soonyoung’s hardness, making all thoughts of existence disappear from Soonyoung’s mind. Jihoon then made Soonyoung lie down the couch before starting moving again. Soonyoung moaned when he felt both their clothe cocks against rubbed each other. Jihoon continued dry humping Soonyoung until he felt Soonyoung’s body tensed and shivered as he came nearer to his release.

“Ji… You’re going.. I’m so..” Soonyoung moaned and shuddered as he came in his shorts. He blushed in embarrassment when he realized it only took a few thrusts for him to cum and they weren’t even naked. Soonyoung everted his eyes but Jihoon trapped his face and made him looked at the other.

“That was fast.” Jihoon smirked. He looked smug from making Soonyoung cum in mere seconds without even properly touching him.

“I’m so— sorry. I didn’t mean—“ Soonyoung was interrupted by Jihoon.

“I want to fuck you.” Jihoon said looking straight into Soonyoung’s eyes with need and determination. When Soonyoung did not answer, he proceeded to cover Soonyoung’s neck with his mouth and tongue, while his hand travelled to Soonyoung’s waist.He didn’t know where that thought came from, but at the moment he had that primal need to sink into Soonyoung and make the other boy into a moaning mess. His body was overwhelmed with the desire to mark and bite Soonyoung. He wanted to make Soonyoung burn from his touches. It was a thought that wasn’t new for Jihoon, but something that he locked away in the deepest corner of his being.

He never really thought about it, whether he liked men or not. But he thought about Soonyoung, Soonyoung with his ass up high for him to taste, Soonyoung’s mouth wrapped around his dick, Soonyoung’s hole clenching as it tries to accommodate Jihoon’s cock, and everything else that he could think of.

But he also thought about Soonyoung’s smile once he made him cum senseless, the need to feel Soonyoung’s lips against his, and the need just to be near him, the need to keep making Soonyoung smile, to keep him happy. Jihoon all knew this. He just didn’t know what to make of it, so he buried them deep down and then drowned himself into their relationship as friends and then maybe even lied to himself using his current relationship.

But feeling Soonyoung’s hand and tongue on his confirmed all of his feelings, he wanted Soonyoung in ways that’s not within the confines of their friendship.

“I want to fuck you.” Jihoon repeated.

“J— ji?” Soonyoung was startled with the revelation. Jihoon knew that Soonyoung was scared. He knew from Soonyoung’s labored breathing that he also wanted to, but didn’t know how to go about it. Between the two of them, the fans think Jihoon’s the one with less experience, but it was really Soonyoung.

Jihoon knew that as far as experience goes, Soonyoung’s only experience were with his hand in the confines of their shared bathroom. Soonyoung only has a first kiss to boast, and that was with Mingyu. He was drunk, and Mingyu was clumsy. He was aiming for Mingyu’s cheeks but the other boy turned his head at the last minute that his kiss landed on Mingyu’s lips. Jihoon walked out on them that night, pissed off for reasons that even he didn’t know.

“You can say no. It’s okay” Jihoon said as he continued sucking on Soonyoung’s neck and grinding on Soonyoung’s crotch. Soonyoung moaned when he felt their dicks glide against each other, throwing all thoughts of restrain out the window.

“Do— do you even know how?” Soonyoung asked.

Jihoon stopped what he was doing for a minute to look at his friend below him. He wanted so much to crush his lips on Soonyoung’s, but stopped.

“Yes.”

"Are you sure? I think’s it’s completely different from being with a girl.” Soonyoung said tugging on Jihoon’s shirt to make him start moving again.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want.” Jihoon said already moving away from Soonyoung, but the latter stopped him immediately.

“I want to. It’s just that I haven’t— I mean I watched but—“ Soonyoung blushed from the admission. He didn’t know how.

“Watched?” Jihoon asked making Soonyoung blush even more. Jihoon’s dick twitched imagining Soonyoung on his bed, one hand clutching his phone, while the other was on his crotch. He could already hear him moan from the pleasure that his own hand would bring. Jihoon wondered if Soonyoung would allow him to watch as he pleasured himself. Jihoon felt that he could watch him for hours, then maybe afterwards he could clean Soonyoung up with his tongue.

“I watched porn, okay!? Sometimes my imagination is not enough okay?"

“Boy or girl porn?” Jihoon had to ask since they haven’t exactly discuss the issue of sexuality between themselves.

“Ji, my dick is hard a rock when you humped me and I came after just a few thrusts. So, what do you think?”

Jihoon smiled knowingly before saying: “So, what have you tried among those things that you’ve watched?”

“Seriously? Ji, it’s embarrassing!” Soonyoung tried to cover his face with his hands but Jihoon grabbed hold of them

“It’s not. It’s just us. Come on Soonie, tell me. Did you jerk yourself off? Did you try fingering yourself? Imagine that it was some other guy’s dick inside you?” Jihoon asked each question accompanied with a gentle thrust on Soonyoung’s hips, but he didn’t need to. Soonyoung was already becoming hard again just from the way Jihoon asked the questions. Jihoon didn’t know where his confidence in taunting Soonyoung with the embarrassing questions were coming from, but he wanted to know. He wanted to watch how Soonyoung would bring himself to the edge. He wanted to watch Soonyoung fuck himself with just his fingers. He just wanted to watch Soonyoung.

“Y— you…” Soonyoung whispered. “I imagined it was you.”

Jihoon groaned from the other boy’s admission and smashed their lips together in a searing kiss. He couldn’t help it. He thought he was the only one who was burning with the need of touching Soonyoung, but it turns out that Soonyoung also wanted to be touched, who was he to deny him. He desperately moved his lips, hands tightening on Soonyoung’s waist. He let his body pressed against Soonyoung, making the other gasp which Jihoon took as an opportunity to invade his mouth with his tongue. He tasted every bit of Soonyoung’s mouth, inhaling every breath, pressing his tongue on Soonyoung’s. He sucked on Soonyoung’s tongue, while Soonyoung whimpered below him.

He wanted to taste everything, and he made sure he did. Soonyoung was almost out of breath when Jihoon decided to give him a breather. He wasn’t prepared to what came out next of Jihoon’s mouth.

“Show me.” Jihoon huskily whispered, mouth still on Soonyoung’s, languidly moving, softly sucking on his lower lips before letting him go completely. Soonyoung could only nod to the request. The need to please Jihoon was overwhelming. He needed to show him just how eager he was for him. He needed Jihoon to touch him again.

Jihoon moved from on top of Soonyoung and sat up. He grabbed a lube from the drawer near the couch. He was confused for a moment as to the presence of a used lube in his drawer but chose to just disregard the question. He intensely watched as Soonyoung shyly removed all articles of clothing that’s blocking Jihoon’s sight from his body.

Soonyoung blushed when he caught Jihoon staring, examining every part of his nakedness. He blushed even more when Jihoon stares stopped at his crotch and watched as the other boy unconsciously licked his lips. Jihoon tried to memorized every nook and cranny. He promised himself that he would kiss every bit. He startled Soonyoung when he suddenly pulled Soonyoung to sit on the coffee table, while he took the front row seat on the couch.

Jihoon could hardly contain his anticipation just imagining Soonyoung widely spread on the table, one hand on his dick while the other assailed his asshole, and he did. Soonyoung shyly positioned himself on the coffee table, legs spread wide. Jihoon kindly helped him coat his finger with lube before leaning back again in the couch to enjoy the show.

Soonyoung shyly looked at Jihoon, not quite knowing how to start. Jihoon could see the hesitation on Soonyoung’s eyes.

“Do you want me to guide you?”

“Y-yes, please.” Soonyoung smiled gratefully.

“Why don’t you touch your cock first? Grab the head, slowly brushed the slit with your thumb.” Jihoon unconsciously licked his lips when he sawhow Soonyoung followed his words and shuddered from the sensation. “Use your precum. Smear it all over your dick.”

Soonyoung moaned following Jihoon’s instruction. He had his hand in a fist as he stroked himself slowly into oblivion. Jihoon could feel tiny bead of precum start to form on his own manhood as he watched Soonyoung. He could feel his dick twitch, impatient at the lack of stimulation.

“Yes, just like that.” Jihoon could no longer contain the heat spreading all over him as he watched Soonyoung jerked himself off in front of him. He stood up and removed his own shorts before starting to stroke himself in time with the movement of Soonyoung’s hand. “Shit, I could cum just by looking at you.

“Ahh… Ji— jihoon…” Soonyoung shivered when he saw what Jihoon was doing.

“I think your ass needs attention, don’t you think?” Jihoon asked.

“Y—yes…”Soonyoung moved higher on the coffee table that both his feet were on it. Knees folded, he spread himself wider and slowly moved his lube soaked finger in front of his hole. He gave Jihoon one smoldering look before slowly pushing one finger inside. He could feel the sting of the stretch but he didn’t care. He was so lost in pleasure and the thought that Jihoon was watching him was driving him crazy.Soonyoung let his head fall exposing his neck where beads of sweat were already falling and tracing his jugular and Jihoon was overwhelmed with the desire to trace it with his tongue. But he stopped himself.

“Ji...” Soonyoung moaned as he moved his finger in and out of his hole, while his other hand stroke his manhood.

“Don’t stop.” Jihoon said. “Add another finger.”

But before Soonyoung could, Jihoon was surprised when lace of white suddenly decorated Soonyoung’s stomach as he came the second time that night.

“Don’t move.” Jihoon instructed as he movedcloser to Soonyoung, who was still panting from the orgasm and still haven’t come down from his high. Jihoon first licked the sweat off Soonyoung neck. He followed it’s direction downward, nipping and sucking at the skin as he go. He covered Soonyoung’s hardened nipple with his mouth, before moving downward. Soonyoung finally released his cock from his hand and tried to push Jihoon away, but the other just continued what he was doing.

“Ji... that... ahhh..” Soonyoung shivered when he felt Jihoon’s tongue licked the cum on his stomach.

“You taste so good, Soonyoung, I wish I could eat you everyday.” Jihoon said as he cleaned every bit of Soonyoung’s cum with his tongue. He then slowly removed Soonyoung’s finger from his own ass before grabbing hold of his thighs. Soonyoung blushed even harder when Jihoon pushed his thighs higher, with his knees bent closer to his chest, totally exposing his twitching hole to Jihoon.

“J— Ji, stop staring.”

“You’re still so tight. I think I need to stretch you even more.” Jihoon said. Soonyoung was about to respond when he felt the tip of Jihoon’s tongue on rim of his crack.

“Ahhh... wait..”

“Soonyoung... what are you doing to me?” Jihoon asked just before he covered Soonyoung’s hole with his tongue. He then thrust his tongue in and out of Soonyoung hole, fucking him with his tongue, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more. Soonyoung was like a drug to his senses, making him feel more alive. He used his other hand to old Soonyoung in place, while he stroked Soonyoung’s hole with the other.

“Ji...” Soonyoung couldn’t suppress his moan as he felt Jihoon used his thumb to stretch him further. He could feel the impatience steaming off Jihoon’s body when he felt Jihoon switched from his thumb to his two fingers. But despite the urgency, Jihoon was gentle. He left soft kisses on Soonyoung’s thigh before leading his mouth to his sac as he prep him. Jihoon then covered his softened cock with his mouth while his two fingers continued to bruised his insides. He was already at the edge of the path leading to overstimulation but Soonyoung didn’t care. By time Jihoon added a third finger, he was already hard again. He startled himself when he felt electricity go through his entire body making him moan even louder. Jihoon knew then that he just found Soonyoung’s pleasure spot.

He rested his finger against the outside of Soonyoung prostate before gently pressing it. Soonyoung moaned even louder when he mixed it up by using different pressure and holding the press for shorter and longer intervals.

“J—ji.. is this normal…”

Jihoon released Soonyoung’s cockfrom his mouth with a pop before answering.

“What?”

“I feel like I need to pee.. ahh..”

“Yes, relax..” Jihoon smiled as he sucked on Sooyoung cock again before he circled his finger around the entire perimeter of Soonyoung prostate before pressing it again. He continued to changed up the pressure and speed, allowing the pressure to build up, making Soonyoung moan louder and twitch at each contact.

“Shit.. Ji… I.. I…”

Soonyoung hand clenched on Jihoon’s hair while his toes curl as he came nearer to his orgasm. But just as he was about to cum, Jihoon stopped.

“No.. don’t stop.. please..”

“Soonyoung, I want you to cum with my dick inside, is that okay?” Jihoon smiled when Soonyoung shivered from the words. He quietly released Soonyoung from his hold and immediately pushed the other boy towards the couch. He then positioned himself in between Soonyoung’s leg before coating Soonyoung’s cock with lube which dribbled down to his hole and then pouring a generous amount on his own.vSoonyoung cock twitch when he felt Jihoon brushed the head of his cock on his rim. Jihoon looked Soonyoung in the eye as he slowly and gently thrust into Soonyoung whose eyebrows where in a pinch and trembled from the sudden intrusion.

“Are you okay?” Jihoon asked.

“Y—yes. Just give me a minute. It feels like I’m going to poop. You’re a lot bigger than your fingers.” Soonyoung tried to control his breathing as he tried to adjust from the pain.

“Look at me.” Jihoon said. When Soonyoung complied, he leaned in closer and gave Soonyoung a peck on the lips. “Soonie, I think— I think I’m—“

“Don’t say it.” Soonyoung stopped him. Soonyoung wanted to hear it, but he didn’t want to hear it from Jihoon whose mind is clouded with the haze of horniness. He wanted to hear it when Jihoon’s cock isn’t inside him and preferably with their clothes on. He wanted to hear it when Jihoon is no longer confused and clinging to his relationship with Sia just to cover up what he was feeling for him.

Jihoon understood. He knew that it wasn’t the right time. He wasn’t even sure of what he was going to say. This was Soonyoung. He couldn’t let himself say empty words and back out of them the instance he’s come back down from his post orgasmic state.

“Say it when you’re already sure. Say it when you mean it.” Soonyoung whispered.

“O— okay.”

“I think I’m good.” Soonyoung said when he felt that the pain had already gone away.

“Are you sure?”

“Ye—yes, please.”

Jihoon started moving. He was moving slowly at first, too afraid to hurt Soonyoung. Soonyoung moved his hips to meet Jihoon’s thrust not quite satisfied with how Jihoon was being careful at the moment.

“Ji, I want more. Harder please.” Soonyoung begged. So, Jihoon pulled himself out until all that’s left inside Soonyoung was the tip of his manhood, before harshly slamming into Soonyoung again. “Ahh.. there..”

Jihoon knew then that he found Soonyoung’s prostate. He repeated the motion over and over again until he saw Soonyoung’s eyes roll back in pleasure. He could feel Soonyoung clench around him each time he hit his pleasure spot.

Soonyoung, on the other hand, could feel Jihoon’s cock dragged the walls of his hole, the lube felt like satin between their skins. Soonyoung could feel the head of Jihoon’s cock marked his insides with every touch was leaving flickers of smoldering embers 

Jihoon then stroked Soonyoung in time with his thrust. Soonyoung could feel the surging of pleasure at the pit of his stomach making his toes curl and his hands clenched. Everything disappeared except for that one part of his body where everything came together, building in pressure as Jihoon expertly hit his prostate with his cock, before the most wonderful and blissful release.

Soonyoung trembled as he released his load on his stomach and Jihoon’s hand. It was his third orgasm of the night, and he was spent and already half way to dream land. It was blissfully fleeting, like the touch of a butterfly before it completely flies away.

Jihoon felt Soonyoung clench around him as his thrusts become sloppier but harder. He was chasing his own high after driving Soonyoung to his release. He buried his face on Soonyoung’s neck and drowned himself in his scent. He was engulfed in everything Soonyoung. He could smell the strawberry scented smell of the soap that Soonyoung must have used in the shower.

He could taste the saltiness of his sweat each time his left a kiss on his neck. Soonyoung invaded all of his senses.

He could feel how tightly Soonyoung engulf his entirety driving him into culmination. Everything disappeared when he came. Everything around him turned white, except for the face of the boy under him, still out of breath and still beautiful.

Jihoon could feel it. He could feel just how much it meant to Soonyoung. He could feel it in the tender way that Soonyoung brushed his air away from the face; from the way Soonyoung’s nose crunched up when he felt Jihoon’s cum trickled out of his hole, the shy smile that followed after, the way Soonyoung’s eyes followed his, searching for answers. Jihoon could feel it in the way that Soonyoung’s thumb wipe away the sweat from his cheek, the way he his lips parted waiting for that kiss

Jihoon knew, because he felt the same way. He leaned in closer slowly to brushed his lips on Soonyoung’s for one last time.

His lips were just a brushed away, when he suddenly woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For rants:
> 
> Twitter ---> @soonhaee  
> 🐯 ---> http://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee
> 
> Comments and rants are welcome. ❤️  
> Stay positive!


	4. Chapter 4

It was a dream. Every touch was all in Jihoon’s mind. Every moan and shudder he illicit from Soonyoung were all in his head, made up by his mind as he slept.

The temporary bliss that the dream brought turned into irritation and guilt. He was irritated that one of the best orgasms he ever had turned out to be made up, and guilt that he allowed himself to think that way about Soonyoung.

He felt guiltier when the haze begun disappearing and his mind was becoming clearer, remembering that he had a girlfriend that he just cheated on, or almost cheated on or was it considered cheating when it happened entirely in his own mind? His heart drummed in nervous flutter, not entirely sure how to deal with what he was feeling at the moment.

He moved a little and felt the cum on his underwear, cum that he thought he unloaded on his wide spread best friend. He couldn’t help the heat that spread throughout his face and neck just thinking about how he manhandled Soonyoung in the dream, and how he, at the very moment very much like to do it again in real life, a thought he immediately banished from his mind.

 _Xia. Xia. Xia._ Jihoon thought. She might be a pain in the ass sometimes, or everytime, but she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on. Soonyoung also deserved better than that, but it was very difficult to think about what’s proper or not when the object of his arousal was sleeping a few spaces from him.

He looked at his sleeping friend, mouth slightly opened, head shoved into the corner of the arm rest, and shirt bunched up a little totally unaware of how Jihoon just took the liberty of his body and how he fucked him senseless over the same couch they were sleeping in.

He should have noticed it wasn’t real when a tube of lube magically appeared in a non-existent drawer beside the couch. He should have noticed that there was no way he’d be that cool during his first time or demanding, like he knew what to do. The only thing that happened that’s probably probable in real life was Soonyoung choking, because that’s how inexperienced they were.

Jihoon’s experience being very much limited to his rendezvous with Xia, which pretty much equate to kissing, caressing her breasts, and rubbing his knee on her crotch.

Now that he thought about it, the scene in his dream seemed a lot like the porn he just watched the other night when he was feeling horny, and the pictures that Xia sent him wasn’t doing anything to his libido. A porn which involved two men on an operation table; something he stumbled upon after several attempts of watching his usual.

 _That’s it! It’s just from the porn! No feelings involved!_ Jihoon thought.

But he was wrong. He could feel it when he looked at the Soonyoung again, how his heart flutters for a bit. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach waking up as he looked at his best friend’s adorably sleeping face, cheeks looking fuller from being squished by the couch. He could feel his loins stirring when his thought went on a completely different direction.

Soonyoung was sleeping peacefully, mouth open a little bit, hair sticking out in different places, and curled up on the other side of the couch; and all Jihoon could think about was how Soonyoung’s mouth would really feel wrapped around his cock.

 _Stop thinking about it._ Jihoon chastised himself. He’s straight, or bi, he doesn’t know and has a girlfriend, he told himself. He repeated the mantra over and over again willing the burning feeling at the pit of his stomach to disappear.

He didn’t realized when he moved closer to the sleeping Soonyoung. He stretched out his hand and softly brushed away the strand of hair that got stuck in the sleeping boy’s mouth.He examined his face, and found himself drawn to his perfect imperfections. Jihoon found everything about Soonyoung’s face perfect, the curve of his nose, his perfectly shaped philtrum leading to his cupid’s bow, his eyelashes which weren’t even long but Jihoon noticed were perfect for his eyes.

Jihoon specially loved Soonyoung’s cheeks, even more when he smiled. He loved how they bunched up towards his disappearing eyes when he smiles. Jihoon brushed his thumb on Soonyoung’s cheeks, he wished he would always be able to see those smiles. They were his lifeline whenever he’s exhausted

or—

 _Stop!_ He yelled at himself. Of course Soonyoung is good looking, he’s a fucking idol, he told himself. He went back to his original position at the other end of the couch. He froze when he felt Soonyoung stirred.

“J— ji?” Soonyoung whispered. He stretched his legs a bit and settled them on Jihoon’s lap, to Jihoon’s dismay. He could feel Soonyoung’s feet just above his groin. He felt it slightly brushed his crotch when the other boy stretched. Soonyoung rubbed his eyes trying his best to open them. Jihoon smiled at the action before pushing Soonyoung’s feet off his lap. “Yah!”

Jihoon knew he adored his best friend. Soonyoung was his favorite person in the world, Jihoon just didn’t realize how completely different his feelings were, maybe. He insisted that it was an adoration that was completely innocent, like an adoration that one has to a younger brother or a beloved pet.

_He’s just a pet Jihoon!An idiot tiger, a cat... a purring cat... will Soonyoung purr? will his moans sound the same from his— STOP IT!_

Jihoon remained calm, but he was already having a mental breakdown from the onslaught of images of Soonyoung moaning ambushing his mind.

“Jihoooon! Earth to Jihoooon!” His name on Soonyoung’s lips was bringing him back to the dream when Soonyoung was trembling under him begging Jihoon to just touch him. He mentally smacked himself.

 _Friends. Friends. Lips. Friends. I want my friend’s lips wrapped around my cock. Friends! Friends!_ Jihoon’s mind was racing.

He was panicking internally with how Soonyoung’s lips formed into a pout whenever he calls his name. It seemed that everything went silent. Soonyoung was talking but all Jihoon could think about was how he just wants to lean over. But Soonyoung beat him to it, he kept still as Soonyoung’s face moved closer to his. He gulped and stared at his lips, coming nearer and nearer.

“Yah! Lee Jihoon!” Soonyoung yelled inches away from Jihoon’s face, startling him. Heturned his back from Soonyoung when he realized what he was just thinking. He was blushing and almost hyperventilating. Jihoon thinks he was going mad.

He stood up, grabbed his backpack, and started grabbing essentials like his charger, an extra sweater, his toothbrush, wallet, tablet and laptop. He also grabbed a couple of equipment, while Soonyoung watched him confused as to what’s happening.

“Ji?”

“I’m going to China. Clean and then lock up.” Jihoon said while he packed the last of his things.

“Did something happen?” Soonyoung asked while Jihoon hurriedly ran to the door. Soonyoung grabbed him before he was able to walk away. “Ji?”

“Nothing. I just have to go.” Jihoon said not quite looking at Soonyoung’s eyes. He knew if he did that he won’t have a choice but to stay. He knew he was being weird but at the moment he really need to get away from Soonyoung before he does something that he’ll regret.

“But you said—“

“I’m sorry. Soons, Xia promised sex. So, I was hoping—“ Jihoon said trying to sound more convincing.

“Oh, okay.” Soonyoung said as he let go of Jihoon’s hands. Soonyoung knew that the time would come when their own personal lives would interfere with their own traditions. He told himself it was okay. He just didn’t know he’s feel that much devastated. 

“Soon—“

“Don’t worry about it. Of course you should go.” Soonyoung gave Jihoon a forced smile. He startled the boy when Soonyoung quickly hugged him and letting go quickly before saying: “Merry Christmas.”

“I’m— I gotta go. I’m running late.” Jihoon said and quickly ran away before he changes his mind.

“Yeah, Happy New Year.” Soonyoung whispered but Jihoon was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For rants:
> 
> Twitter ---> @soonhaee  
> 🐯 ---> http://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee
> 
> Comments and rants are welcome. ❤️  
> Stay positive!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞
> 
> CW : Explicit language and Content

Jihoon arrived at his hotel exhausted. He spent the whole trip trying to sleep and stopping himself from responding to Soonyoung’s text messages and answering his calls. It was just the usual messages, reporting that he cleaned the studio well, that he decided to just go home since he didn’t want to be alone in the dorms (one which made Jihoon extremely guilty for leaving since Soonyoung only even stayed because of him), and another one telling him that they’d still have the new years party and maybe he’ll invite another member on their little tradition on the rooftop and that’s it’s okay.

He told himself he needed to desensitize himself from Soonyoung in order to go back to normal. He believed that it was just the dream playing tricks on his mind. The dream was the only reason he could still feel Soonyoung’s soft lips glide along his neck or the way his hand would feel on his— STOP; he just needed a way to get back at reality Jihoon told himself.

But this was reality, he told himself, and he still felt the same. He remembered the words he wanted to say in the dream, but Soonyoung stopped him. He was awake but he still wanted to say those words. He was awake but the feelings were still the same. Whether in dream or in reality, he realized, he was in love with his best friend.

**Soonyoung's Twitter Post**

He was in his hotel room when he read a tweet from Soonyoung. Jihoon knew the tweet was for him and he felt guilty. It was his fifth day in China, a day before the new year’s eve and it was the longest time that they haven’t spoken, not even a simple good night. He couldn’t bring himself to reply to Soonyoung or text him without thinking of the dream.

He knew that Soonyoung’s was probably confused with his abruptness, and the way he left without even a proper explanation. He just panicked and the first thing he thought was to go to China and be with Xia. He wasn’t used to the feelings that the dream seemed to have woken up in him. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much he desired him.

He knew without talking to Soonyoung that he hurt him with his abruptness. He just needed to get away from him fast. He wasn’t used to seeing Soonyoung in a different light. He’d be lying if he said that he never once got arouse thinking about Soonyoung not just Soonyoung but even the other members. But that was when they were teenagers and he got over that. It was normal especially when they spend all of their time together. He contemplated texting Soonyoung an explanation but decided against it. He didn’t even know what to tell him.

He didn’t know what to say except that : _You’re making me horny so I decided to run thousands of miles away from you to keep myself from grabbing you and ravishing six ways to sunday and oh_ , _I just realized that I’m in lovr with you._

He definitely couldn’t say that, Jihoon thought.

He was so lost in his reverie that he didn’t notice the lights dimmed a little and music softly played on the portable speaker. He was startled when somebody grabbed him form behind and pushed him to the a chair which was weirdly place in the middle of the room. 

“Babe…”

“Xia?” Jihoon was shocked when he finally got a look of his girlfriend.

She was wearing a loose fitting, soft, and skimpy spaghetti strapped black silk mini dress which dipped in all the right places. Definitely something not to be worn in public. Jihoon could see the her nipples pressed through the thin material. It was too short that it was almost revealing her lacy see-through underwear. He hair was dripping wet all comb back, bits of water from her hair was slightly streaking through her neck, tracing her jugulars till the space between her breasts. Her face was bare of any make up, except for a red lipstick that brought out her full lips.

“You like what you see?” Xia asked and started walking towards Jihoon, who gulped with the suddenness of the situation. She had in her hand a dildo which rubbed in between her breasts as she slowly walked towards Jihoon. She started swaying her hips to beat of the music, hands teasingly pulling her dress up revealing her skimpy black laced underwear. She then started playing with the strap of her dress, pulling down just to give Jihoon a quick glimpse of what’s underneath. When she was near enough, she placed on knee in between Jihoon’s thigh brushing his manhood in the process before grabbing his face to look up to her. She leaned in for a kiss before releasing Jihoon again. She removed her knee from Jihoon’s thigh. She told up and slowly pulled the strap of her dress off her shoulders and letting her dress fall to the floor revealing her perky breasts and black thong. Jihoon was startled when she sat down on Jihoon’s lap, her back against his chest. She guided his head towards her neck as she spread her legs apart. It was only then that he noticed that she strategically placed the chair in front of the full length mirror.

“Kiss me.” She asked as she guided one of Jihoon’s hand towards her breast, while the other she guided towards her crotch. When Jihoon did his hand, she grabbed it again and began rubbing it on her clothe crotch while she grind her ass against Jihoon’s privates. Jihoon used two fingers to rubbed against Xia’s lady parts, but all he could think about was how he wanted something to grabbed on. He thought about how different it is to feel a cock hardening against his hand, and how it would be dampened with a bit of precum when the pleasure gets a bit too much.

“Ji?”

Jihoon didn’t realize how he let his mind wander off other thing, well not just other things, but Soonyoung. It scared him that despite the fact that a beautiful woman was grinding against his crotch, his thoughts were filled with Soonyoung. It never happened before especially when he was with Xia, but the dream must have been the key to pandora’s box, opening and revealing all things that he tried to repress and even things that he didn’t know he felt.

“I’m sorry. I’m tired.” Jihoon said as if it was enough to explain his lack of reaction to his girlfriend’s advances.

Xia took a deep breath, reining in her impatience. She knew his boyfriend was always reluctant when it comes to sex, but she never failed to make him hard before. She was almost naked with just a thong and throwing herself on Jihoon, grinding hard that she could even feel his dick in between her ass cheeks but nothing seem to stir the sleeping giant. She stood up and decided to make things a little more interesting. She took off her underwear and knelt in front of Jihoon. She knew if she spread her legs, Jihoon will be treated to a view of her ass on the mirror and the position would allow her to give Jihoon a blowjob, something that never failed to make him hard. She tugged on his shorts, which he allowed to be taken off.She let a bit of her saliva drip on Jihoon’s soft cock before stroking it with one hand while the other pushed his legs wider apart. She left open mouth kisses on Jihoon’s thigh before leader her mouth to lick Jihoon’s sac before leading her tongue to taste the underside of Jihoon’s cock, tracing a vein till its tip. When she felt Jihoon reacting to her ministration, she repeated it over and over again, dabbing the tip of her tongue on the slit of Jihoon’s dick until it was hard enough to in her mouth.

Jihoon took a deep breath, willing himself to relax and just enjoy the feel of Xia’s tongue on his cock. He guided his hand to grab Xia’s hair as she bobbed her head harder to accommodate Jihoon’s size. Jihoon found himself lost in the sensation. He could feel the softness of the lips tighten on his manhood as Xia sucked, he imagined how it would feel to have Soonyoung’s luscious lips do the same. He wanted to see Soonyoung’s face covered in saliva and his cum, mixed with a little bit of tears as he hit the back of his throat. He grew even harder just thinking about how the outline of his cock would look inside Soonyoung’s throat. He suddenly grabbed Xia off his cock before pushing her on to the bed. He positioned her in a way that her head was hanging at the edge of the bed, before guiding his cock back to her mouth. With both hands on the bed, he started thrusting into Xia’s mouth. He closed his eyes and imagined it was Soonyoung’s throat that he was abusing.

“Shit you feel so good.” He said breaking the slurping and sloshing sound of his dick hitting Xia’s throat.

 _Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung._ Jihoon cried out in his mind as he allowed himself to imagine it was Soonyoung’s throat that he was abusing; that it was Soonyoung’s mouth the’s currently wrapped around his dick, and that it was Soonyoung’s hand that was softly squeezing his sac.

He thrust harder and harder not really caring about his partner and totally lost in his pleasure as he imagined Soonyoung’s cheeks budged ands throat contract around him. With Soonyoung in mind, He grabbed Xia’s hair and harshly thrust into her throat, pushing into her some more without taking his cock out, until she choked and was out of breath. Xia urgently tapped his thigh, and coughed as she released a few coughs before Jihoon guided his cock back into her mouth again, using the head to pry her mouth open, which she hungrily did. He harshly grabbed on to Xia’s hair and pulled her closer face closer at the same time that he thrust his hips into her. He could hold back any longer. He was so hard just thinking about Soonyoung. He imagined Soonyoung’s face slicked with saliva and precum, and how would feel to kiss him, taste himself on Soonyoung. He could feel his sac glide through Xia’s face as he thrust harder into her mouth. Xia tried to moan, either in discomfort or pleasure, and the vibrations sent him over the edge. He hurriedly removed his cock from Xia’s mouth, stroked himself a few times before he was cumming on Xia’s waiting tongue, and face. He shuddered when Xia softly lick the tip of his cock at the same time that he released his load.He thrust into Xia’s mouth a few more times, his cum making dick slide smoothly in her tongue, until he felt the high of his orgasm left him. He was panting when he lie down on the bed face down beside Xia. He allowed himself a few breaths before moving closer to Xia who was still covered in her saliva and his cum.

“I’m sorry.” Jihoon whispered and brushed Xia’s cheek with his thumb. “I’ll take care of you, okay?”

Xia just nodded in response, throat too bruised to say anything. He smiled guiltily when he saw that Xia’s face was still a mess. He quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel soaking it in warm water, before returning to the bed. He gently wiped away the cum and saliva on Xia’s face.

Xia squirmed uncomfortably under Jihoon’s stares. His eyes were soft and gentle, but it was breaking her heart. She hurriedly stood up from the bed and removed his underwear before grabbing the discarded dildo and giving it to Jihoon. She tugged on his shirt which he removed to comply to the request of the girl whose throat he recently abused.

“Are you okay?” Jihoon asked.

“Y—yes, just a little bit sore. But Ji, I really need you. I’m so hot.” Sia said

“Okay, just tell me what to do.”

“I wanted you, but you wanted something else.” Xia said making Jihoon squirm.

“Xi—“

“It’s okay Ji, let’s just use this instead?” Xia said as she gave the dildo to Jihoon.

“We can wait twenty minutes or—“

“It’s okay, Ji. Maybe some other time, right now I need you to fuck me with that thing because I’m already dripping wet and horny.” Xia said. She knew even if she waited twenty minutes, nothing will ever happen between them. “But will your reciprocate the gesture?”

Jihoon knew what Xia was asking and didn’t need to be told twice. He placed two of his finger on Xia’s lips, who immediately sucked on it and immediately released it. He then moved his fingers downward to Xia’s crotch and first rubbed the surface of Xia’s lady parts before inserting two of his fingers into her.

“Ahh... finally..”

He slowly moved his fingers in and out, while rubbing his thumb on Xia’s clit every now and then. Jihoon used his other hand to spread Xia’s leg wider. He then leaned closer and used his tongue to massage Xia’s clit alternating it with his thumb.

“Ahh.. that’s feels good… Yes…”

Jihoon then removed his finger inside of Xia and thrust his tongue in and out of Xia’s lady part instead, making the other shiver in the pleasure. He buried his tongue deeper into Xia, trying to reciprocate what Xia just did for him. She was writhing in pleasure after some time. But he wasn’t done. He wanted to make up for every thought of Soonyoung that came to his mind when it was Xia who was on his mouth. He discreetly wiped his lips and jaw on the sheets before spreading Xia’s legs even wider. He grabbed the dildo, and looked around for something—

“Bag.”

“Huh?”

“There’s lube in the bag… please…”

Jihoon hurriedly went to Xia’s bag and found the peached flavor bottle of lube. He poured a generous amount of lube on the dildo before kneeling in front of Xia. He used his tongue to ease Xia into the feeling, softly licking her clit as he slowly inserted the thick dildo into her.

“Ahh.. your tongue feels so great.. we should have done it sooner— Ji…” Xia moaned louder when he felt Jihoon spread the outer lips of her privates with his finger before using his tongue to repeatedly stroked Xia’s clit while harshly pushing the dildo in and out of her opening. Xia arch her back and pushed her hips upward trying to follow the pleasure that Jihoon’s tongue seemed to bring.

“Ji.. harder..” Xia begged. So, Jihoon complied and thrust the dildo harsher and faster making the girl squirm from the sensation. Jihoon could feel Xia’s trimmed pubes on his but he didn’t care. He wanted to bring Xia into her culmination with his mouth, since he couldn’t do it with his tongue. He felt Xia pulled harder on his hair, and her moan became louder as she trembled through her orgasm.

“Shit.. I’m cumming.. Ah.. “

Jihoon stopped when he felt Xia finished her orgasm. He silently pulled out the dildo and let it fall of the floor then gave Xia’s inner thigh one last kiss before laying beside her exhausted.

He nuzzled into her neck and pulled the girl closer to him. He didn’t wish to hurt Xia. She was demanding and mean with her words but it doesn’t have any bite to it. He wished he never started the whole relationship with her. It was his fault. He hugged Xia tighter, not quite knowing how to make her feel that it wasn’t her fault, and that everything was his fault.

“Ji?” Sia whispered breaking the silence that engulfed the room after their strenuous activity. Jihoon was surprised by the softness of how Xia said his name. She always used to be forceful, but now in the dimmed room and both of them naked, he could feel a certain kind of vulnerability that the girl emit. He moved on his side to face Xia who was still staring at the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Xia whispered, but her next words were completely unexpected to jihoon. “Let’s break up.”

“W—what?”

Xia took a deep breath before slowly facing him. She place her hand gently on Jihoon’s face, tenderly caressing his cheeks.

“I know you tried.” She smiled. “I know you did and I’m thankful.”

Jihoon panicked a little when tears suddenly formed on Xia’s eyes. He was about to offer consolation and comfort, but Xia stopped him.

“Ji, I don’t think it’s me that you really want.” Xia whispered giving Jihoon a small smile through her tears.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Soonyoung.”

“Xi—“

“Please listen first. I don’t want to stay in this relationship longer than I have to knowing that it’s not me that you really want.” Xia paused for a second before continuing. “I’m not a bitch Ji, you know that. I know when to hold on, and when to let go.”

Jihoon nodded. He knew somewhere along the way Xia lost herself, and he knew it isn’t entirely her fault. Their relationship started at Xia’s instance, but Jihoon accepted that. The first month of their relationship was normal. She was overly enthusiastic and a little bit demanding but not in an overwhelming way. She was always filled with aegyo which she used to sweetly ask what she wanted, but not in a pushy kind of way. She knew there were boundaries set. But for some reason, she changed, especially when they were spending more time away from each other when their schedules were busy.

“I knew, right from the start and it drove me mad. I drove you insane trying to prove to myself that I was wrong. I made incessant demands telling myself that surely you love me when you do these things. Jealousy made me this way. I’m sorry.” Sia whispered, sniffing a little, so Jihoon held her tighter.

“I thought I could live with it as long as you’re mine, but I couldn’t. I can’t bear to look at you unhappy for another day, Ji. I’m sorry for trapping you into this relationship even when I knew that you’re no longer happy.” Xia sobbed.

“Shh… Xi. I’m sorry. It’s my fault.” Jihoon kissed Xia’s hair hoping that somehow it would ease the pain.

“I want what you have Ji. I mean, I want someone who’ll look at me the way you look at Soonyoung, with so much tenderness and love. I want to be somebody’s priority. I want somebody who’ll get hard with just one lick of my lips.” Xia said as she tried to laugh.

“You just have to say the last one.”

“I’m just joking.”

“I’m sorry, Xi. I really am.”

“It’s okay. I had fun and lots of expensive bag, clothes, and shoes.” Xia joked but her eyes revealed everything. “But seriously, it’s okay. I’ve accepted it.”

Xia moved closer to Jihoon, who pulled the blanket to cover their nakedness. He listened to Xia’s breathing, as silence engulfed both of them. Break ups shouldn’t be this easy, Jihoon thought. But it was, for him at least. He felt like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and he felt guilty for feeling relieved when Xia was clearly in pain.

“How did you know?” Jihoon asked.

“Well, it was a million little things and one.” Xia smiled. She leaned in and gave Jihoon a peck in the cheek for being adorably clueless of how obvious he really was with his feelings. “It was the way you looked at him. You never once looked at me that way. When Soonyoung oppa comes into the room, everything else disappears and there is only him. It’s like your attention and everything thing in you is pulled towards his direction, leaving nothing for the rest of us.”

Jihoon’s breath hitched. _Was he really that obvious?_ He asked himself.

“The funny things though is that, you yourself is not aware of his effect on you. Everybody could see it, except you.”

“Everybody?”

“Don’t worry, I meant it as a figure of speech.” Xia assured Jihoon when she saw the panic in his eyes. “I remember when we were recording late and we already left. But I had to go back because I left my phone. Soonyoung oppa fell asleep on the couch. You took a blanket and covered him with it. But before you went back to your seat, you hesitated before reaching out to brush away an errant hair, and the way you looked at him, I knew then that whatever we had, it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Xi, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t know.” Xia answered.

“I’m so stupid.” Jihoon admitted.

“Yeah, a little bit.” Xia teased. Jihoon pouted a little earning him another laugh from Xia. “So, who did you imagine when you were fucking my mouth like a monster?”

“Yah!” Jihoon blushed and tried to cover his face with the blanket but Xia was faster.

“Yah! Lee Jihoon, you definitely owe me another bag!” She teased as Jihoon stopped trying to hide under the blanket and faced Xia seriously.

“I’ll buy you all the bags that you want, Xi. I’m sorry. I’m such an asshole.”

“Nah, you I already have all the bags that I need; and no, you’re not an asshole. You’re just an idiot for not recognizing your feelings a bit sooner.” Xia stood up and grabbed Jihoon’s boxers off the floor and threw it at him. She then proceeded to grab a comfortable pajamas from her luggage and put it on, before going back to cuddle with Jihoon.

“What happens now?” Jihoon asked.

“I don’t know, Ji. It’s really up to you. I already did my part, I let you go. How you move forward is entirely up to you.”

“I’m scared.”

“That’s normal.”

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he’s straight?

“You’ll never know, Ji, until you ask him.” Xia answered before yawning. “Let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted. Tomorrow’s new year. I want to be a cool friend and send you on your way to your little tradition, but I decided I’m not that cool. Can I keep you just until the year ends? He can have you forever after.”

“Of course Xi, I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

“Okay, good. I need someone to kiss when the clock strikes 12.”

“Okay.”

“Good night, Ji.”

“Good night, Xi.”

The next morning, Jihoon woke up alone. Beside him, was a note that Xia left and a ticket back to Korea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For rants:
> 
> Twitter ---> @soonhaee  
> 🐯 ---> http://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee
> 
> Comments and rants are welcome. ❤️  
> Stay positive!


	6. Chapter 6

Jihoon was nervous. He was nervous to see Soonyoung again now that he already realized his feelings. He was nervous that he wouldn’t be himself and would act differently. He was nervous of actually telling Soonyoung about how he feels. But more importantly he was scared as to what his recent discovery would mean to their friendship and eventually to the team. He spent the rest of the plane ride eating away his anxiety. He couldn’t sleep. He was too excited to see Soonyoung, and too anxious at the same time. He thought about what he would tell him, and how he would say or maybe he just won’t say it. Maybe his feelings weren’t meant to see sunlight at the moment. He needed some sort of sign.

He sigh as he took another bite of the sandwich he was trying to finish.

It was already a little soggy but he needed something to do to keep him sane. He grabbed his phone and browsed through his private social media fee. It was an account reserved mostly for his closest friends. One, where he shared his privates life the most. He browsed through the feed and found a picture of Soonyoung on Seokmin’s account. It was pre debut photo, where Seokmin was giving Soonyung a back hug. It was nothing new. Seokmin had always been clingy to everyone, especially to Soonyoung. But what irked Jihoon was the caption.

**Seokmin's Post**

“What is a soulmate?” Jihoon read. _Is he saying that his soulmate is Soonyoung?_

Jihoon clicked Seokmin’s account. He browsed through his feed and was surprised to see Soonyoung in most of them. He knew they were close, but he didn’t know they were this close. There were several photos of them just hanging out in the dorm or eating out. A lot of photos of them on bed on what seemed like a sleep over. A lot of times Seungkwan was with them, other times it’s Jeonghan. Jihoon couldn’t help the tiny breath of jealousy that was already springing in his heart. He knew Soonyoung was close to the other members, heck he was too. He just didn’t know that there were a lot of moments in Soonyoung’s life that he missed and that he wasn’t a part of.

He sigh and closed his instagram.

_That’s not what’s important._ Jihoon told himself. There were more important questions that needed answers. There were more important things that he needed to address. He contemplated on whether asking the other members or just asking Soonyoung directly. But the first one was too cowardly. He felt Soonyoung wouldn’t appreciate it if he goes to the members first, especially on things that concern him.

First, he needed to know Soonyoung’s sexual orientation because if Soonyoung turns out to be straight, then all of the things he’s worrying about at the moment would be moot. He couldn’t trust his instinct because he wasn’t even aware of his feelings for his best friend until his girlfriend of all people pointed it out. They never talked about it. They were friends and never have they talked about anything related to that. They just both assumed that they were straight, or he assumed that they were. Soonyoung probably thought with certainty that he was straight since he has a girlfriend or had a girlfriend. 

Second, he needed to know whether Soonyoung felt the same way. He was always clingy to everyone, so it was difficult for Jihoon to identify whether Soonyoung’s clinginess towards him were different from his clinginess with the rest of the members. When Soonyoung tries to hug him, is it because he likes him or he’s just being his annoying self? He wished he paid more attention.

He was still thinking about what to say to Soonyoung and didn’t realized that he drifted off to sleep. It was already 2 in the morning when he felt someone shaking him awake. He slept through the new year.

“Sir, I’m sorry to disturb you but we’re here.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“Happy New Year, Sir.”

“Happy New Year!” Jihoon responded before hurriedly running out of the plane. It was still dark in Korea. It took him a while to get a cab since it was already new year. He just wished that he arrived before the sunrise. He was too late for their yearly party and their talk but he wanted to make it even for the end part which was to see the sunrise together. It took him a while to grab a cab since it was new year. When he arrived, he had an hour to spare before the sun comes peeking out of its hiding place. Jihoon hurriedly ran up the stairs of their company building. He was panting when he reached the door, but his face was preparing to smile and his body ready to be pulled by Soonyoung into his bone crushing hugs. The smile didn’t come and his bones remained whole, it was his heart that broke because when he opened the door, Soonyoung was leaning in to Seokmin, leaving a kiss on his cheeks.

**FLASHBACK**

(SOONYOUNG)

_Soonyoung looked around the table which was filled with different kinds of food and drinks. Everyone was there except for the person that he really wanted to see. It was the first new year that Jihoon wasn’t with them, the first one since debut that they spent where not all of them were together. It was the first one in years, that he’ll spend without Jihoon to talked to till morning. They usually spend the first few hours of the new year talking about the past year, their regrets, and things that they wanted to do. It was a tradition that they started when they were just trainees, when they were often left in the dorms by the other members except for the China line, to go home and celebrate the new year with their families. Both of them preferred to stay, since Jihoon was from Busan and Soonyoung lived nearby. He told himself he could always drop by. Besides, he didn’t want to leave Jihoon alone. So, the spent their new years in Soonyoung’s bed, watching a movie on Jihoon’s laptop until the early hours of the morning where they’ll ran to the rooftop to watch the sunrise. It was an important tradition for Soonyoung, and he couldn’t believe that after keeping their little tradition for more than ten years, Jihoon had bailed on him with just one sentence as an explanation. But at the same time he felt that he couldn’t really blame him, especially with what Xia had put on the table. Of course Jihoon should grab the opportunity to be closer to his girlfriend. Soonyoung sigh and took another drink of the soju bottle in front of him. It was his second bottle and he knew he should stop soon if he wanted to survive the new year in one piece._

_They were just at the company where they turned the practice room into a huge party place. They carried a huge table place it in the middle of the room, bought a lot booze, and ordered a lot of different food from different restaurants. Nobody was really in the mood to cook, but everyone was in the mood to drink. It was a day to let loose and just be themselves. It was a day to congratulate themselves for their hard work and prepare themselves for another exhausting year._

_Some of the members were singing their heart outs on noraebang they rented specially for the occasion, while some were busy playing a drinking game that Soonyoung didn’t understand. The part was already in full swing. Soonyoung joined the first round of games, but was already too drunk to join another one so he opted to stay still. Beside him was Seokmin, who was telling him about his Christmas celebration with his parents. He tried to listen but his mind was still elsewhere and was already to hazy with alcohol._

_“Yah, Yeobo, you’re not even listening to me.” Seokmin said in his grandfather voice._

_“Sorry Yeobo. I think I’m drunk.” Soonyoung answered in his grandmother voice before they both laugh at their silliness._

_“Everything okay?”_

_“Yeah, never better.” Soonyoung moved closer to Seokmin who welcomed him with open arms. Seokmin made a wrap of pork and kimchi and offered it to Soonyoung who happily took it with his mouth. “Hmm.. yummy.. yummy..”_

_“Want another one? It’s not good to drink on an empty stomach.” Seokmin said as he offered another wrap to Soonyoung who took it before leaning in to kiss him on the cheeks, making the younger boy laugh._

_“Hyung!” Seokmin made an elaborate gesture of wiping off his cheeks. “This person keeps trying to kiss me!”_

_Seokmin yelled making the other members laughed. Seokmin grabbed a bottle of water and made Soonyoung drink, before grabbing his coat and helping Soonyoung to stand up._

_“Come on, Hoshi-ah, let’s get you some air.” Seokmin said as he wrapped his arms around the staggering Soonyoung._

_“Roof?” Seokmin asked offering Soonyoung a knowing smile. Soonyoung just nodded._

_**End of Flashback** _

Soonyoung shivered from the cold. He felt Seokmin put his arms around him and drew him closer. He nuzzled closer to the boy, seeing for more warmth. Soonyoung sigh in contentment when the other grabbed one of his hand and placed it closer to his lips, blowing on his hand to warm him. He felt the other boy leave a kiss on his hair, which surprised him since Seokmin was complaining the whole night of his clinginess. He felt Seokmin’s hand ran up and down his arms as he tried to warm him up.

“Thank you.” Soonyoung whispered still half asleep.

“Hmm…”

“Thank you for staying with me. I know it’s shallow to be sad over these things.” Soonyoung said as he tried to wake himself up. The sun was already starting to rise and he wanted to see it.

“Hmmm…”

“Happy New Year, Minnie.” Soonyoung said.

Soonyoung snugged closer to the boy. He raised his left hand and spreading his palm towards the slowly brightening sky. He moved his hand making his brand-new watch shine a little. It was beautiful against the rising sun. He loved it. He will treasure it forever, Soonyoung thought. It was the most perfect gift and as of the moment his most valuable possession, not because of how expensive it was, but because it was given by his most favorite person in the world.

“Happy New Year Jihoonie.” Soonyoung whispered to no one in particular, hand still stretched out to the sky. He was startled when someone covered the back of his hand with his and and intertwined them.

“Happy New Year.” Jihoon said.

_**FLASHBACK** _

_Jihoon couldn’t move. Jihoon’s world stop moving and everything paused. Everything that Soonyoung did for him suddenly ran through his mind. He was just being friendly, he thought to himself. His face was starting to heat up, and he could feel tears starting to form at the corner of his eyes. He was about to move away when his reverie was broken by Soonyoung’s shout._

_“Ouch! Why’d you hit me, Seokmin-ah!?” Soonyoung said as he rubbed his arms._

_“Hyung, you’re drunk. You start kissing people when you’re drunk. Second, I’m not Lee Jihoon so stop trying!” Seokmin yelled and laughed. He knew his favorite hyung becomes extra clingy under the influence of alcohol, and his favorite person to annoy was Jihoon. But their producer always pushed him away, so Soonyoung clings to the more accepting Seokmin._

_“Yeah, you’re not. He’s a thousand miles away probably in bed with his beautiful girlfriend.” Soonyoung said not really wanting to bring down the mood but already did. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling sad, but he was, not just because of the tradition but because for the first time since Xia came into their lives, he chose her over him; and it hurt._

_“Well, you could have stopped him when you wanted to.”_

_“I wanted to, but I didn’t. It’s really hard to put your wants first if you’re— I don’t know.” Soonyoung tried to explain but thought better than to continue. “Happy New Year to me!”_

_Soonyoung laughed halfheartedly no longer feeling celebratory for the new year. He just wanted to curl up somewhere and sleep._

_“Happy New Year Hyung!” Seokmin cheerfully said. He pulled Soonyoung closer to him. “But seriously hyung, you’re drunk.”_

_Seokmin patted his shoulder._

_“Come on, hyung. Sleep for a while. I’ll wake you up once the sunrise is near.”_

_Seokmin tapped his shoulders again which Soonyoung happily took, no longer being able to fight against his drunkeness. He rested his head on the younger boy’s shoulder, until he fell asleep._

_Seokmin waited for a few minutes before finally breaking the silence._

_“Jihoon hyung I know you’re there.” Seokmin whispered and gestured for Jihoon to move closer._

_“Seokminah…”_

_“Shh… Come closer..” Seokmin didn’t want to wake his hyung who was currently sleeping on his shoulder._

_“It’s okay. I’m sorry, I don’t want to impose.” Jihoon answered trying to slowly move away._

_“Impose?”_

_“Uhh… yeah…” Jihoon gave Seokmin a sad smile. He just wanted to leave. He didn’t want to see the boy he was in love with cozying up with one of their favorite dongsaengs._

_“Hyung, what are you talking about?”_

_“I.. Seokmin… are you and Soonyoung…” Jihoon sigh, not quite sure how to ask Seokmin if there was something going on between the two of them._

_“What?”_

_“Uhmm.. together?”_

_“What???” Seokmin asked, voice slightly going louder than usual causing Soonyoung to stir a little bit from his sleep._

_“Hyung” Seokmin continued in a softer voice when Soonyoung settled down again. “Soonyoung hyung was waiting for you the whole week. He drunk too much tonight because he was too sad to celebrate without you. I don’t want to be the one to tell you so that’s all I’m going to say.”_

_“But the kiss—“_

_“The kiss wasn’t the first one, Hyung. You know this hyung when he’s drunk. He even kissed Kim Mingyu. Don’t tell me you’re jealous?” Seokmin asked eyes wide in panic._

_“A little bit.” Jihoon admitted shyly. He should’ve known. The kissing was a normal occurrence for Soonyoung when he’s drunk._

_“Aigoo. You’re crazy. “ Seokmin said before gesturing for Jihoon to move closer. “Come on, before this tiger wakes up without his keeper.”_

_Jihoon smiled as he took a seat at the other side of Soonyoung. Seokmin slowly lifted Soonyoung’s head and transferred it to Jihoon’s shoulder who blushed at first contact. He supported Soonyoung’s head with his other hand, making sure he doesn’t fall. He could smell the faint scent of his shampoo. When he saw Seokmin finally left, he leaned over and gave Soonyoung’s hair a soft kiss._

**End of Flashback**

Soonyoung immediately moved his head off the person’s shoulder and was surprised to see Jihoon smiling at him. His eye completely disappearing into the most adorable smile Soonyoung had ever witnessed.

“Ji?” Soonyoung eyes widen at the appearance of his friend who was supposed to be in China with his girlfriend. “What— what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to spend it with you.” Jihoon said as Soonyoung tried to pull his hand away from Jihoon, but the other didn’t let him. “I— I’m sorry.”

“What are you talking about?” Soonyoung asked eyes still at his hand that Jihoon was currently holding tightly. He knew what the apology was for, but he wanted some sort of explanation even though Jihoon technically did not owe him, so he stayed silent.

“For leaving, I shouldn’t have and I should have replied to your messages or answered your phone call.” Jihoon turned his hand over and rubbed his thumb on his palm, tracing a letter or a word. Soonyoung couldn’t quite figure out what it is. Soonyoung sigh. He wanted to stay mad but he didn’t want Jihoon to feel bad especially since it was new year.

He was also feeling hopeful that maybe the reason why Jihoon was currently there was because he wanted to spend more time with him.

“I figured you were busy with—“

“We broke up.” Jihoon interrupted.

“Oh…” A wave of disappointment crashed over Soonyoung.“So you’re here because you broke up?”

“What?”

“Are you okay? Don’t worry she’ll come—“

“That’s not what I meant.” Jihoon panicked when he realized how it would look to Soonyoung.“We broke up, but that’s not the reason why I’m here. I’m here because I want to.”

“We broke up, but that’s not the reason why I’m here. I’m here because I want to.”

“Oh, okay.” Soonyoung said and tried to pull his hand again away from Jihoon, but the other boy stopped him again.

“Aren’t you going to ask why? Why we broke up?”

“Well, I want to, but I know you. You’ll tell me when you’re ready.” Soonyoung was dying to ask, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to raise his hopes up. He knew for sure they’ll be back together in the morning.

“Just ask me.”

“It’s okay Ji.” Soonyoung said and tried to pull his hand again away from Jihoon, but the other boy stopped him again. 

“Maybe I need you to ask me.”

“It’s okay, take your time. I don’t—“

“Just fucking ask my why Kwon Soonyoung!”

“Fine! Geez! Why do you have your underwear in a twist? You know what that saying means? It means— ouch!” Soonyoung yelled when he felt Jihoon gave his a hand a very hard squeeze. “Why’d you that for?”

“Please stop the commentary and ask me. Unless you don’t want to know?”

“Of course I do! I’m sorry. I’m just a little bit drunk.” Soonyoung explained. “So, why?”

“I don’t love her. I never did.” Jihoon said as he pulled Soonyoung even more closer to him.

“W— what?” Soonyoung didn’t expect the answer. He was startled when he felt Jihoon rested his chin on Soonyoung’s shoulder,making his breath hitched. “T— then, why go out with her?”

“Because I’m an asshole who couldn’t accept his feelings even if it was already staring him in the face.” Jihoon said as he made Soonyoung face him. He raised his other hand and softly brushed his thumb on Soonyoung’s cheeks.

“C—cryptic, Ji.”

“Christmas morning, I had a dream.” Jihoon whispered, voice husky. He let his eyes wonder all over Soonyoung’s face, wanting so much to move closer and he did as he wrapped the other boy in a hug.

“Dream? Me too!” Soonyoung excitedly said. He tried to get out of Jihoon’s hug but the other just held on tighter. “Hoonie, let me go for a second, okay?”

“I can’t.” Jihoon buried his face on Soonyoung’s neck. He just wanted to blurt it out, but his courage was currently failing him.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m stupid.” Jihoon answered, voice muffled. He brushed his nose on Soonyoung’s neck making the other one stiffen. He wanted so much to close the gap between his lips and Soonyoung’s skin, but he stopped himself. Instead, he moved away.

“But we know that already.” Soonyoung joked and Jihoon playfully pinched him on the waist. “Ouch! Stop pinching me please.”

“Do you want to know about the dream?” Jihoon asked.

“Uhmm.. will that make you feel better?

“I— i think so.” Jihoon answered.

“Okay, then.”

“Promise me one thing then.”

“Okay?”

“Well, promise you won’t judge me?”

“Yes, I promise.” Soonyoung answered.

“Promise you won’t give me up as a friend?”

“You said one thing, those are two— ouch! Ji, stop pinching me, you’re going to leave a mark!”“I’m trying my best and—“

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll stop now. You can tell me anything and nothing will change. I promise.”

Jihoon took a deep breath before he started talking.

“I had a dream about you and you were sleeping. You were yelling about ice cream and Kim Mingyu.”

Soonyoung laughed.

“Then what?”

“Then I woke up and you were there.”

“Wow. That’s so mind blowing and life changing.” Soonyoung teased. He didn’t know how ice cream was connected to Jihoon’s thoughts at the moment.

“Shut up! It is! It made me realize a lot of things. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was a jerk for the past week.”

“Hmm..”

“I’m sorry that I ran out.”

“Why did u ran out?” Soonyoung asked.

“Well, the dream made me realize that I want something else in life and it scared me.”

“Ice cream made you do that?” Jihoon was about to pinch Soonyoung again but the other raised his other hand in surrender. “Okay! Okay. So, your solution was to ignore me?”

“Well, yeah a little bit.”

“Ouch.”

“I’m not making sense.” Jihoon admitted.

“That’s an understatement.”

“Let’s just say I’m not afraid anymore.” Jihoon said.

“Oh- kay. This is such a wonderful conversation, Ji.”

Jihoon laughed. He took a deep breath and prayed for courage. Jihoon slowly reached for Soonyoung’s left hand.

“This watch looks perfect on you.” Jihoon said as he intertwined their hands together before giving Soonyoung hand’s a small squeeze.

Soonyoung smiled and returned the gesture.

“It’s only perfect because my favorite person gave it to me.” Soonyoung blushed when he realized what he just said.

Jihoon raised Soonyoung hand nearer to his face before ever so slowly moved closer and brushed his lips over Soonyoung’s hand, leaving the softest kiss.

“You’re also that to me Soons. My favorite person and more.”

Jihoon hesitated for a second. Soonyoung waited. Soonyoung’s eyes widen when Jihoon leaned over, and gave Soonyoung a peck on the lips, before looking away again.

With their faces blushing, and hands intertwined, they watched as the sky changed colors. The darkness slowly fading, until the it was filled with light. Just like the way that something new was blossoming in their hearts.

As the dawn approaches, so did their new life, and new love.

**Author's Note:**

> For rants:
> 
> Twitter ---> @soonhaee  
> 🐯 ---> http://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee
> 
> Comments and rants are welcome. ❤️  
> Stay positive!


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